Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Happy New Year's!

I hope everybody has a safe and healthy New Year's! Have fun!! I am staying in tonight with my parents and my precious pup!  It is snowing!! I had a doctors appointment today... I found out I have been gaining weight because they are making me gain weight so when I switch to my G/J tubes I won't loose "too much weight" because the transition can be a little rough. See a new gastroenterologist next week! My New Year's resolution is to focus on what I CAN do and not what I CAN'T do... And to follow the Lord's way and continue on, Thankful for my MANY blessing this year :) But...Here's to a better year!! xo -Chelle

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Trust Your Gut...

I am a Rock star. This morning I awoke to radiology calling for info. for my neck MRI. Then a few minutes later my primary care physician's office called... I have been waiting for weeks for her to find me a gastroenterologist who will A. take my case and B. treat my gastroparesis and C. Do my tubes and take care of them.... Well her idea and my idea must have been two very different things because she is sending me to a general surgeon... in a rural area. Bottom line I need to be in the city where all my other doctors are with all the issues I have and the hospital here just does not understand me and my crazy situation. And I am a lot to take on medically. So I was just in shock because when I was in the hospital during Thanksgiving with my tummy. I had to go out of town because they are not equipped up here to do it in rural AZ. (that's what she said and sent me out of town) So I just got on my awesomeness and started calling around. Simply because my gut was screaming NO to me. (this is a skill sick people pick up very well... calling doctor's offices... and googling places for treatment.) I ended up calling the children's hospital's GI team. They were super nice when I simply just called to ask who they sent their adult patients to. Got a number and called it and found a doctor who will treat my gastroparesis and do everything! Now I just pray it all works out for me because I really need this! I am excited. I will be seeing him next Monday. If you have some prayer time please pray for this to work out for me that I can get good tummy care because it is seriously so hard to find. xoxo- Chelle

Monday, December 29, 2014

I Am Forgetful.

You are going to have to excuse me. I have been very forgetful.( I do suffer from brain fog or amnesia I call it) I keep forgetting to post on the days I feel well enough to. I hope you can understand and forgive me, xo -Chelle

More Dysautonomia Awareness

As you know I suffer from a form of Dysautonomia called POTS A.K.A. Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome and believe me it effects much more than my heart! It effects everything my body does automatically (the autonomic nervous system, is disfunctioning)
here is some info on more awareness! (a news segment)


Saturday, December 27, 2014


Sister, Me, Mom.
I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!!
I sure did! My Christmas was full of blessings!
First off I prayed my heart out that I could be well
at least for Christmas day. When I woke up it was
7:30 a.m. (nothing short of a miracle for me to
be up that early). I also was the first to wake up
So since I was up I put my makeup on and did
my hair. Totally shocked my parents. Then my
sister slept in haha which was fine and I felt
good ALL day long! A miracle, simply. 
The day was calm and peaceful. one of 
Those days you just cherish and enjoy. It even 
snowed!! (with a 10% chance) A very lovely day!
The day prior (Christmas Eve) on of my lines in
 my picc line clogged. And the cath-flow did
not unclog it. So Home health left it for Monday
to try again. I had been checking it nightly with
a syringe and bam! I had a blood return!
I received lots of lovely presents. But my biggest
 one was from My Heavenly Father and that was
my good health!

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

I Had A Cry

Yesterday everything that has been eating at me ate me whole. I had some grieving. A long process yesterday and for some reason the Holiday season was not helping that. (all the chronically ill out there know what I mean) The Holidays can be very challenging for a chronically ill person. First stress will literally make us sicker and everyone stresses over the holidays. Then through my personal experiences, I stress about not being able to rest for a minute, I stress about getting over stimulated. I stress about being fatigued and weak. I stress on not being able to cook a thing or really help out others in that scenario and as a woman (that's my role) I can't go shopping so I therefore miss out once again. There is a lot of sadness that comes with these harsh realities. The holidays really make me upset now and no matter how hard I try it is a battle with myself I can not win. I cry every year. So I got all my alligator tears out yesterday to God and I pleaded for his help and asked for a blessing because I did not have anyone around to give me one and surely someone in heaven could give me a blessing. The second after I felt great peace and it felt like an army of angels had their hands down my arms and neck and around my head. After this I was able to take a small nap and escape that awful mental but then the very physical pains that I was experiencing. pain so bad it worn me down to nothing. But after I rested I took my meds ate some baby food (pears) and I felt like a whole different person. My heart rate went down to normal and is staying down!! For a POTSy that is big news! This is the 1st POTS medication I have been put on and I have to say it is working. I am far from cured but wow I feel like my body has calmed down a bit. I kinda feel like it is my Christmas miracle gifted by God, as always. May you have a Merry Christmas eve, Christmas day, and everything in between.  - Chelle

Monday, December 22, 2014

Last Christmas

Just one day left of antibiotics boy am I happy about that!! And 3 days until Christmas! After listening to Christmas Devotional It was a good reminder of what Christmas is all about, practicing Christ like love. Tis the season of giving. I aim to do well at this but being sickly (especially as sick as i am now) it makes it a little more complicated to do things for others. That being said does not mean i can not do them! All I've been able to do since I was in the hospital last month is just lay around hurting or nauseas/vomiting. My nervous system is in a tizzy. But the other day I was determined to help my mom out. I am an adult, I see I stress her out with being so ill. I see her just so tired from taking me back and forth to the valley to countless doctor appointments and staying up late at night because I don't feel good and I need someone to talk to. My mom is a super hero mom. Literally. She always puts herself last. This year she was giving her fellow co workers these cute fleece throws. She got busy and decided not to put anything on them because prior we had came up with "fleece Navidad" So she went to work and I spent hours making them and I had to use this pretty glitter cover paper but it was hard to work with and nothing would stick. Our glue gun was out of glue, so I found some craft glue but it took a long time. It was a mess! Plus, I was trying to write neatly (I struggle with handwriting) but in the end they were cute and I helped my Mom. I wish I could do more for her so much more but I know my efforts where measured big by her. After I was finished I had to take a nap haha that's how much work it was for me but I'd do it again in a heart beat. Last year was a good Christmas so I thought I'd reminisce and do a flash back.
 My sister Chels and Brother in Law Billy
Dad & Mom
Me and Chels opening the same gift.. Nollie perfume
Looking at these, my hair has grown a ton! yay

Saturday, December 20, 2014


I saw my new neurologist yesterday.  I wore this hat and yesterdays make up (i took this photo the day before the doctors) He was super nice and seemed to be a great doctor. I am getting to actually treat my POTS with medications in hopes to improve my symptoms! Syndromes are complicated so you can not just cure them. They really do not know anything about POTS except for it's symptoms. Which range to anything. I just took my first new medication and I am nervous it is to lower my high heart rate. We are hoping by calming the heart rate my whole body will be calmer. He didn't have a lot to say about the Gastroparesis besides it happens in us POTS patients. But he sat there and talked to me like a person. Not a number, not a cow, he didn't stare at the floor. He did not close his eyes. He did not ignore my questions. He didn't judge me or race to the finish line and think he knew what I was going to say. He let my finish talking. He let me ask questions and explained things to me. Part of me wonders why no one did this for me sooner and It makes me angry but I am just glad there is some form of symptoms help...let's just hope it works!
            My body may not be working and things are crazy literally but I am still me inside there and I think I am just starting to realize it. Hope for a better future <3- Chelle

Thursday, December 18, 2014

I'm Trying

I know trials strengthen us and bring blessings to the very bottom of my heart. I know that. Tonight or this morning I should say I am up. I can't sleep anymore until after midnight. My brain and body simply just think nope it is time to be awake. It gets frustrating. I am on the sad end of things tonight... But I know it will get better in time. My body progressively has worsened for 8 and a half years now. I seem to be falling apart. That reality is sort of eating at me today. I just hope soon my condition improves, instead of worsens. sometimes being in constant pain and being sick always can creep up on you because it is simply super hard to go through. I remember for some reason (before I was sick) I used to think if a person was sick long enough it would become 'normal' and they would not know they where sick. Well I did not think that I wondered about it. FYI It doesn't become normal. In 8 years pain is still pain. Fatigue is still fatigue. Missing out is still missing out. And grieving is still grieving. I know I have big changes happening before my eyes but what I also know is the Lord and my Savior Jesus Christ are right there by my sides. With them I can do anything, even heal.
Leaving today to see a new neurologist Friday morning. Hoping to improve my neurological condition (POTS/Dysautonomia) & therefore better quality of life. Hard times come and we have to trust that they too shall pass. No matter how long they last. Here's  to another doctor hopefully it will be long lasting care :) (I know I am complicated, but I'm still a person) - Chelle

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Rolie Polie & update

well today I received my IV pole. And of course me being me I had to decorate it up a little... So this is what happens it matches the tree haha. The pole does not have wheels but I am still going to call it rolly polie!
say my primary care practioner today. She is of now calling gi doctors to take my case and insert my Jejunostomy & gastronomy tubes. So I am feeling better about things because I am finally moving forward. And a lot nervous about having tubes in my tummy. My tummy has bacterial overgrowth because it is sluggish and slow. I failed at taking oral antibiotics so therefore the iv pole came and I have to do iv antibiotics through my picc line. So far tummy is much happier! Also she said my tummy is trying to "eat" itself because it's so empty always and so for that I get stomach coaters. I also have bad acid reflux that is making my throat sore so I am already taking omeprazole 2 times a day so she added zantac but it has to be broken into 1 4 times a day for 1 dose because tummy is not working.  I may have a uti but  the antibiotics will fix that! went to get my blood work and I am apparently a turnip because you can not get a drop of blood out of me! That's that!- Chelle
p.s. please sign this petition if you can it is for funding for gastroparesis and to recognize it as the disability it is!! Here is the link:

Monday, December 15, 2014

Petition Gastroparesis Disability/Funding for research.

Gastroparesis means: Paralyzed Stomach ... In a person with a paralyzed stomach our motility of our GI tract is slowed.

As you know I am a newbie to having Gastroparesis. However it is very life altering in so many ways. I can't eat. When I do eat I get sick; Vomiting/constant nausea, screaming pain, bloating, Constipation, diarrhea, and everything in between. It also causes malnutrition, which is why we live off of tubes to be fed. And because of the slow gastric emptying we are prone to getting infections in our GI tracts or blockages. Gastroparesis for me and many others is like living with the stomach flu. It never ends. Think about this do you go to work when you have the runs or are vomiting all day? It makes it hard to do much of anything. (I know Gastroparesis is just one of the many ailments I have but it is a biggie) Did you know some amazing people have had their life's taken away. Yes, Gastroparesis is a killer! We need to catch that killer and save life's. I can not even find a doctor to treat Gastroparesis and even better I have some friends with it in the exact same boat. This is serious Guys!  We need funding for research! Gastroparesis needs funding for research too! So us the patients can have not just better care but better qualities of life. Thanks-Chelle
The link to sing HERE:

If I only had today

If I only had today what would I do?..
What is my purpose here on Earth?
If I only had today to live I'd want 3 things; my family to know how much I love them, God's Blessings/approval, to make a difference. I really am just a regular Lady living an extraordinary life. Some days all I do is lay in bed and pray that tomorrow I will have a better day. Some days I wish for the day in bed to come back because my pain is too high. The burdens too high. Some days I cry for cures or better treatments. Some days I get mad that this awful thing has happened to me. Some days I feel robbed. That I am missing out on life. That nothing could ever make this okay. Some days I feel a burden to my family. Some days I am scared to death. Some days I don't think, I block it all out. Some days I smile and pretend I am just fine. Some days I am okay and just 'fine'. Some days I spend countless hours on the internet searching for treatments/cures, & specialists. Some days I drag myself out of bed and go to doctors. Some days I play pharmacist and feel like I count endless pills. Some days I talk on the phone all day playing my own receptionist. Some days I make my dog lay near so I don't feel alone. Some days I grieve the old me. Some days I dream of a different me, what I would be like if I did not get sick. Some days I cry. A lot. Some days I worry about finances and how I will ever take care of myself. Some days I quit. Some days I feel like I am literally on a roller coaster and I can't get off. Some days I spend in hospitals or emergency rooms. Getting no further help because I am "complicated" or "rare" or "unknown". Some days I am labeled. Some days I just put one foot in front of the other Because it is all I can do. But all those bad days give me moments I could never forget! Beautiful blessing and a clearer purpose of what this life entails and how I should be living it.  That I should live to the commandments of the Lord in righteousness. That I am different and it is okay! I have purpose here. I will do my best to make a difference on this earth. Even if it just is for one person. I will have done my job. I will never quit  fighting this battle. life here on Earth is just days in the Eternity of Heaven. I would rather fight for my Eternal blessings here for years on this Earth than A day in Heaven. God pushes me in this life so I can learn and be humbled. I may have a lot to overcome but God is there for me always. Pushing me forward like an never ending loving Father. I will be whole again one day. In the meantime, TODAY I will hold tight to these beautiful moments being sick gives to me I will be a light. I will be holy. I will spread Christlike love. <3 -Chelle
" A bad day on earth is just moments in Heaven"- me.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Merry Christmas Pretties

I thought I'd share one of  my sister Chelsey's daunting talents of many. She made this Grinch!! and decorated so her house so cute!! Sister's right to brag :)
P.S. Going out of town to see specialists. Seeing an Allergist I have gone to for most of my life Dr. Duane Wong. Gonna try to get this Mast Cell Activation Disorder figured out. AND of course physical therapy how could I forget. :) I think the anitbiotics are working because I have quit running a fever and I am feeling better some!! Have a happy weekend - Chelle

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Show Low, AZ. Woolford's Garage.

So my Grandma was shopping and found these super awesome mugs where we live...Show Low.  On these mugs has a picture of Woolford's Garage.  Let me tell you why this garage has so much importance to me.

A little History...
Woolford's Garage is my Family's garage. It has been family owned and operated since 1947. (67 almost 68 years).My Great Grandparents opened the garage back in 1947. It's been going strong since.  My Grandparents both have put in many years here and a lot of hard work! They really kept this place going for a long time and they did a such a  great job! (and still do) I am super proud of them. They are a fine example! A few years ago Woolford's Garage survived a fire and of course made the front page of paper but even a fire couldn't stop it.
(this photo found at WMI central link above, they have all photo credit)
As you can see in this picture back through the gate (where the trees are) there is a hill of grass, from the church. That is where we all stood that awful evening. I will never forget it. And Family friends and family members would come stop by that hill of grass and talk to us. Comfort my grandparents. But in the end it was all okay! well a little crispy but some TLC fixed it right up.

So many hearts and hard working hands built this business I am proud to call them my family <3


We have had so much fog here in AZ it is nuts! It has been days of constant fog and just barely a sprinkle here and there. Here it is currently 35 degrees but it feels like 29... Humidity is at 100%The storm is suppose to move in Friday and Saturday... I will be out of town to the valley where it is warm for more doctor appointments.  Started a Low grade fever last night hoping it goes away! here is to day one on antibiotics. Fingers Crossed!!

I Would Never Trade Anything for All the Knowledge I Have Learned.

"I would never trade....
The grace that I feel and the faith that I find
Through the bittersweet tears and the sleepless nights
I used to pray he'd take it all away
but until it became
a beautiful
-Hilary Weeks
(every step album)

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Only Grandma can make me feel better

Today my Grandma stopped by to drop off my gift she got for me when I was in the hospy (hospital) the cutest pair of Leopard print slippers ever! with a bow! if there are 2 things I love it is leopard print & bows! I have a pair of leopard print slippers from 2 Christmases ago gifted by my sister Chelsey but these are much cuter and have a bow! If you want to find them they are by dollhouse. I have no clue where she got them.  Then Grandma took me to Walgreens Whoo hoo! lol but she was a big help! I really needed to go there and get my mediations. I have a bacteria overgrowth we think... stupid Gastroparesis you are so mean! Now I am on antibiotic and those kill me! oh boy! it may be a long week!! I got home just in time to be sick boo! I am not complaining though I had a great day :) Love spending time with Grandma! Thanks Grandma xo-Chelle

Better Than Others

Some days are better then others! Enjoy the good! Live in the joy of the moment. Most importantly Love! don't compare your life to others because every life is different. We are all on different levels of our own special journeys!

"Lift up your heart, & be glad; and Look."-Moses 7:44

Monday, December 8, 2014

"Find Me"

If I ever were to meet Hilary Weeks I am more than positive I'd tell her thanks! Her beautiful music always manages to capture how I am feeling. Sometimes those lyrics pop into my head at just the right time and I know God is talking to me, to my heart. Tonight as I took Wrecker (my dog) potty I was looking at the moon. I love the moon and the stars! To me they are a symbol by God of light even in darkness. Light can always shine through your heart even on the darkest days! As I looked up at that big sky  I heard (in my head) "Come find me in my hidden places, find me even where the shadows lye light a match bring a torch illuminate this great divine come find me" ( I hope I didn't butcher those lyrics POTS can mess with my memory a great deal) but I have been wanting God to find me. I was feeling frustrated for weeks not feeling him as I normally did. I knew he didn't desert me or leave me but I truly don't know if it was one of those teachers not allowed to talk during the test kinda things or if it was something with me but I feel him strongly now and my testimony is thickened. I know God was talking to me through music once again. "come find me" He wanted me to find him. To know he was there. As he always is. As the lyrics in "Find Me" go.... I believe that everything happens for a reason." I am a huge believer of that. God loves you. - Chelle

Learn to Love Tubes. Learn to Live...If I survive the Holidays!

             Since I am finding out my Gastroparesis is unlikely to go away. As well as living in tons of pain every time I eat.... And all the vomiting and nausea. I am feeling super bummed out. The holidays have been making this even heavier as they progress. I am the cook and they baker. I have always had such a love for it. Though, I do not cook or bake often due to my prolonged list of ailments courtesy of Dysautonomia and a few other things. I normally can scrounge up some energy for the Holidays to make a few things. And of course when you get stripped of a lot of the "normalcies" of life when you become chronically ill (having extra money, being able to go places, like shopping...) things go out the window before you get a chance. The next thing you know you are dealing with the reality of 'where did that go'. I did however successfully help make Thanksgiving dinner. That was when I got out of the hospital, of course. I know everyone has trials and hard times in life. I believe no one gets out spot free. As my hunger progresses daily... My patience shortens. I dislike it. A lot! I want food in general and especially the yummy holiday goodies. I just want to sit down in a restaurant. (something I not long ago took for granted) I can eat but barely and I typically get very ill when I do. Due to this I feel like I must be at home to eat. And TPN (total parenteral nutrition) The way I am eating now... I have a picc line a.k.a. a central line and am fed through that line. yummy! It totally bypasses the whole stomach. It goes through the kidneys (and the blood & all  that good stuff, I am not a scientist to explain that part haha) Bottom line. I am starving! Don't panic though I am getting all my nutrients and any life sustaining needs via my picc line. It looks like I will be receiving a Jejunostomy/gastronomy tube in the nearer future to sustain me.(TPN is temporary, and it rough on my little body)  That's where they put a tube in your stomach (well in this case 2 tubes one in the stomach. One in the Jejunum.) I have been a bit afraid of dying. Reading scary stories on the internet don't help. But today God let me have peace and know I am not dying right now. So I will fight. I will fight and I will learn to love my tubes! As well as that HEAVY BACKPACK!! Without them I'd be in bad shape if even alive to write this right now. When I realize that it makes me realize I have a purpose here and work to do! I have excitement in that and pride! I am so thankful for my faith, that I can have the wonderful mercies of God and my Savior Jesus Christ. I am blessed! Times are tough and seem confusing. I have physical disabilities but I have God and Jesus Christ... And all my angels here on earth (my family & wonderful friend that has gastroparesis and POTS)  and in heaven and if that is not enough. I simply do not know what ever could be! Hmm puts the Christmas Season a little more in perspective! I never wrote my Thanksgiving Thanks really... I am Thankful for life, My family & loved ones, God, & my savior Jesus Christ! And of course my tube!! The basic necessities in my life are my number ones! xo- Chelle

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

Yesterday, we did what should have been done the day after Thanksgiving. We put up our Christmas tree. My most favorite! (but somebody named Michelle was in the hospital) However it was a lot of work and I was sick with my stomach. I powered through anyway and I also learned how weak my hands are. helping put  a Christmas tree up is a lot for a POTsie! up and down and holding our arms above our heads do not help our low blood volume and blood not going to head circumstances. I had a little chat with Santa. He said I was so wonderfully behaved like an angel bahaha(wink wink)

And Viola a Christmas Tree! 

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Is This a Crossroads?

As I previously posted, I successfully ate a meal (mashed potatoes and turkey) with out vomiting. I was super happy after being in the hospital the week prior to all this. Then last night I had only potatoes and just a little bit and I lost them all! Ugh Gastroparesis is so confusing. One minute I am high the next low. I have no clue if I am getting better. IF that was a sign or just a trick. Guess wait and see some more.... I just gotta keep going! -Confused Chelle

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Good News Food

Last night I was super shocked... I ate some turkey and mashed potatoes and a while later 2 chocolate chip pancakes!!! is this real?? I did not throw up either!!! wow I am still happy... today all I could eat so far is applesauce and belly is aching. But take my victories when I can, and that my friends was a rather large one! prayers for continued being able to eat food!!!

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Donate to Dysautonomia on #givingtuesday

I ask that if you can today that you please donate to Dysautonomia International. Even a dollar would help! Since Dysautonomia is so little known, we don't get a lot of donations, ect. As a person with Dysautonomia (POTS) I would love to have answers, or a treatment option and be able to get out of bed and to be able to eat again. PLEASE donate it is #givingtuesday plus there is a donor who is going to match ALL donations! That's a really big deal :) Goal is $20,00.00 to match a grant. Let's do this!!

link for donation/more info:

                                                                                                          Thank You, Chelle

Monday, December 1, 2014

Hospitals Stays Make Me Think.

My recent hospital stay was hard on me, Lots of not feeling good and pain. I am still very weak from it. It gave me lots of time to think. I also am growing scared of Gastroparesis. Dysautonomia is a monster! It is claiming me in lots of ways and getting too close to my safety, for my likings. Tubes are not nutrition and I'd gladly throw them out but this situation isn't necessarily a choice now is it... The fear and worry (that usually sideswipes me with negativity) have pushed me further to rely on Jesus Christ and God. I always rely on them... But going through all these hard trials. Even though I drag my feet the whole way. I know I always come out learning something. Something more important than my sufferings. I view things differently. I think for every suffering here on earth, we get made up ten times more in heaven. I wish I could take the bad away. Heal my body. The fact is, I can't. I can strive to better myself through Heavenly Father's eyes in any situation. No matter how tough those situations may be. I have endless love constantly. I have hope of some sort of being better & though some days that hope is just a tiny glimmer in my heart, it never fades. One day I will be whole again sufferings of being sick don't last eternities just life times. I find peace in the resurrection.(not that I want to die in any way, I hope I don't misinterpret this) I have a testimony that Jesus Christ is real and I have a plan! It makes the hardship softer and my heart bigger. I feel my Savior's endless love for me. Today I had "I Stand All Amazed" playing in my head. But really that's how I have been feeling... think of all the sufferings Jesus went through for me, for you. He was Crucified. He bled and died for us. He went through every suffering there is. Could you imagine that. I was thinking about that today and just my sufferings have me overwhelmed lately could you imagine every suffering you can think of at one time? He must really love us. <3 - Chelle

Thanksgiving Suprise

My Sweet Family surprised me on Thanksgiving evening. My Mom stayed with me the whole hospital stay. So my Dad, Sister Chelsey, & Brother-in-law Billy sneaked down and did a surprise visit. My heart smiled it was good to be with my family even though the circumstances where... less then great. My and Chelsey took pictures and goofed off like all sisters. And she said she ate the best hamburger ever at the cafeteria (on thanksgiving) lol. Families are forever <3 I most certainly love mine!!
I am happy to announce I am home again. Doing somewhat better pain wise and more then glad to be out of that hospital room named 832. TPN (nutrition) was arranged to 18 hrs a day so hooked up to my tubies longer. Unfortunelty no further care or action has taken place after a week in the hospital... That's part of having this stuff wrong with you...Doctors do not typically want to take you on because you are complicated or they do not know. Have to respect their feelings, but hope I can find A gastroparesis doctor to help me sometime soon in the near future!!