This past month not hip has been bothering me and I have not been able to walk and I have been aking up in pain. My pcp did some basic tests and found I have degenerative disc disease in my lumbar spine. This is scary as I have a herniated disc in my mid back and a history of spinal fluid leaks. The thought of my spine falling apart makes my stomach sink. I think something else is wrong with my hip as it effects my range of motion and I have experience with sciatic pain and this hip is just different but you know how docs dont always listen to me. I am seeing my neurologist at the end if the month who specializes in EDS a collegen disorder I have that causes my joints to dislocate. We think the spine has been there and they stumbled upon it but the hip is likely from my EDS I have likely injured it via dislocation. So frustrating to keep finding problems. My heart hurts when I think on it too much but I know God has made me this way for a reason bigger then myself. I hate being sick but I have to trust that the Lord can heal me or help me through it. I have to believe my lifeguard walks on water so I can't drown. And he does so I know even when my heart aches... I am okay.
So I will put on lippie stick and curl my hair because feeling sorry for myself will never help. Faith is bugfer then fears. One day at a time -Chelle
I believe trials are the biggest blessings in life! being sick has been my biggest trial yet. Being a young LDS woman I view my life as a beautiful gift. even when it doesn't seem that way my father in heaven helps me to have strength to endure all hardships of being ill. I hope to help others by sharing my day to day experiences. I'm just a small girl ready to make a difference. During the good times & while enduring the bad times we can live, encourage, & most importantly LOVE!
Wednesday, July 22, 2020
Wednesday, July 15, 2020
Fear is a liar at 4 am
I have been struggling with severe to crippling hip pain for a good month now. Maybe even longer. I even had acupuncture for the first time yesterday and it helped for the day but something is happening in my sleep. This morning I woke up with excruciating pain and I pushed through it to get to my pain meds trying not to wake husband. As I hobbled back to bed I wondered why this is happening. I mean I have been unable to walk from this it is so bad at times. And the test of the time I hobble around like a pirate. I am always trying to figure things out because when something is wrong with this body I am normally the one who does the figuring. I have a team of good doctors who I know will try. .. but why do I wake up from being I'm such bad pain several times a night? What is causing the pain? Is it Ehlers-Danlos syndrome? Am I hyper extending and dislocating in my sleep? Are we really going to start going down that road? Before I knew it my brain was like a bee hive full of thoughts buzzing around in my head. And I had a song stuck in my head since I woke up. Didn't pay any attention to it. Hello I am in too much pain to care about a song stuck in my head. Then in the midst of a beehive anxiety riddled thought I hear, "fear, he is a liar He will steal your faith. Rob your happiness." As I am on the brink of I cant do this tears... I found myself crying tears because I knew in that moment I was not alone and heavenly father was telling me not to be afraid. He put that song in my head it was my job to listen. And I felt the comfort of never being alone in my trials. Knowing that I have an all powerful God and a savior who atoned for my sins. Because of this I don't need to listen to fear. Or worry about my disease riddled body. Or worry about getting off medications that are so hard to get off but I've been doing. When you die they put you on a lot of things and for the past year all I've been doing is coming off medication after medication and it has been a trial of it's own but I know the reward will be worth it
I promise in our darkest hours we are never alone. When we are in pain he is there if we just turn to him in faith he can relieve the most excruciating moments. He can take that sharp edge off of it and replace it with perfect peace. But we have to be willing to listen. -Chelle
I promise in our darkest hours we are never alone. When we are in pain he is there if we just turn to him in faith he can relieve the most excruciating moments. He can take that sharp edge off of it and replace it with perfect peace. But we have to be willing to listen. -Chelle
Tuesday, July 7, 2020
Post Covid Update
I hope every one have a blessed and fun fourth of July!!
We just hung out at home with quarantines and lack of events around town. It was a simple day filled with grilling and chilling.
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