Week 3 Covid19 Quarantine

This dog is always at my side when I need him. He is so sweet and comforting when I am down... I don't not know what I would do with out this pup and his love.

My guts are defective today. I had IVIG yesterday and it is supposed to treat my severe Gastroparesis as well as so many other conditions, but apparently that did not happen. But as long as my brain doesn't flare I truly can't complain. I am in so much pain. And I am a little sad and I cried for a moment in pain. A song played in my head, "you with the sad eyes you don't need to worry" and I immediately felt comfort by the spirit and I knew in that moment the lord is aware of my struggles. He knows my pain and he knows my suffering. He did not lighten the pain but he gave me comfort to get through the storm. Coronavirus is scarier when you have over 10 complex serious comorbidities. My heart is a little tired today. I am tired of being in pain today after a painful day of IVIG yesterday. Sometimes the medications I take to combat the side effects get to my head and make me weepy and upset. But it's the price I pay to stay here on earth. God gave me the option and I chose to stay. I will continue to fight because I know I have more to do. I am not writing this blog for others. I am writing it for me. I just hope it helps others along the way. We can be sad we can feel and that is the beauty of it. This way when we find happiness we really know what happiness is. God is in control. He will never leave you alone. Even when your crying in your bathroom he will be there for you

Last week we baked cookies I was weak so it was with the help of my handy dandy stand mixer and Husband. They are so yummy (not today. No food for me today) We are finding activities to try to stay positive so I do not go stir crazy. I feel so vintage lately.

I am thankful for this guy and his ability/willingness to administer the sacrament in our little home. We definitely feel blessed by this and i know I feel much peace from this during our time of need. The Lord is amazing in his ability to always provide for his children and be there for them too. Update on how Covid19 is effecting me: all appointments are by telemed only. I can not leave my house and haven't in weeks. No visitors. I do have a nurse who comes to my house for a day a week and infuses my IVIG. I asked if he gets sick what is going to happen? To which he responded, "I don't know. No one has talked about it in the company" (nice) so he showed me the few things I didn't know how to do just in case. This way I can infuse myself and luckily I already know how to access my own port and give myself iv meds. I've never been more grateful for my independence in my healthcare. I always tell people to be as independent as possible. Not only is it healthier but look what it can do for you in a crisis. Advocate for yourself fellow spoonie and hang tough -Chelle

1st Anniversary Toilet Paper

This year for our very first wedding anniversary, Husband figured out it was the paper anniversary so along with my gift he included some toilet paper. He found it very funny and I was not ammused in the least with this gift. I even wanted to send it back but he wouldn't let me. It is likely a memory I will never forget. Reading through my emails to find a purchase for anniversary toilet paper that was ordered off my account. I was definitely underwhelmed. It read, " Happy 1st Anniversary My Love. I love the (poo emoji) out of you." I literally could not believe what I was finding. I almost sent it back but did not want to cause a tiff. But you can imagine the text my Husband got right away.

Just a few short months later we rush to the store to hope we can find toilet paper before we run out and I remember a few weeks ago as I decluttered our house asking, "can I throw this lovely gift out." holding a roll of decorated toilet paper in my hand. While at the store full of bare shelves I thought to myself, "at least I have that anniversary toilet paper at home. How ironic?" So, thanks for the fancy toilet paper for my first anniversary babe. It couldn't have been a more spot on gift for the year if you tried! I thought I would share the funny in this story. It was the best worst gift I've ever received. -Chelle

Covid19 update #1, Rural AZ.

My mantra of the week has been, " It is well with my soul." I found this image across Facebook and it stuck in the midst of panic.

There has been comfort in spring cleaning my house this week, plus a full exercise. I find I worry a lot less when I stay busy during the day. I love that I have the ability to work from home.

My poor couch has been very used since the begging of our marriage. When you have conflicting sleep schedules with your spouse and chronic illnesses your couch takes the abuse.

I did find out through my nautropath that I have a calcium fluoride deficiency. I think it is from the harsh steroid use. So we have been supplementing and within a week my bones have nearly stopped burning completely. Due to this I have been more mobile and physical. I was even able to work out this week! BIG DEAL FOR ME!!!

I am using a lot of supplements in my liquid diet and that is also making a huge difference. (I am using Lady Boss Lean Vanilla Cake and Chocolate Orgain.) Slowly, but surely building this body of mine to be stronger. I LOVE seeing positive results in my health. It has truly been such a long recovery this time and still continues to be. The Coronavirus has taken my little social outings away but I have not gone backwards. this is not a setback.

                                 Though I do miss date nights....

Things have gotten a lot more serious in my area over the past week. In my last post, I was much more relaxed about the current situation because Covid19 had not hit our county yet. However, it did hit this past week. There has been two confirmed cases. I have been contacted by all of my doctors to lock down and stay at home. I have over ten illnesses and a compromised immune system. I am currently taking immune suppression therapy medications to treat my autoimmune diseases. Luckily for me we are tapering off but this is a process that will take almost a year if all goes right and there is no guarantee I will be able to quit them. I also have asthma, and scar tissue of the lungs from being preemie. So I am being extra cautious. With having healthcare workers in my family I have had to social distance from them. The hardest has been my Momma and knowing that I likely won't see her in person for another month. I am so thankful for the wonderful blessing technology is at this time. Husband can not stay home in his line of work. He will always be on the front line for his community which means exposing himself to all illnesses. He has a special mask. We have implemented a system to help protect me. He immediately removes his uniform and puts it into the washer upon coming through the door, then showers. We disinfect all surfaces regularly and as always I sanitize my dishes in the dishwasher. I also have implemented telemedicine in all my healthcare needs. I will say My largest struggle is to not be able to go to the grocery store and buy groceries and needs for my home.
 
The anxiety did hit hard one fine day last week when I realized the seriousness of my conditions combined with the Coronavirus. The poor understanding of my care and conditions in general let alone compacted by the Coronavirus. The fact I would not be able to have visitors to protect me and explain to the doctors my differences in care in the case something happened as visitors in hospitals are rarely allowed. I have PTSD from prior awful hospital stays and it is something that shakes me to my core. So I continue to pray. I pray harder. I hope for the best and for protection and then I get up and keep going forwards. Sitting down and panicking is not going to help anyone. It simply hurts you to panic. So my advice is turn off social media. Set boundaries of things that trigger you on social media and the news. I promise it will help. Seek the Lord's guidance at this time and when it seems lonely and too much to bare bring it to him. He will help you in your times of need. There is always angels around us lending helping hands.

Something that has literally been life changing for me is listening to conference talks at bedtime. I fall asleep to general conference talks and it never fails that the lord brings just the right talk at just the right time as to what I personally am needing to hear. I know Heavenly Father is hearing my prayers and that he is answering them through these talks. It is crystal clear. I suggest to you guys to listen to old talks as well for they can bring answers and much peace in a time such as this.

We are all in this together. Hang tight guys we will make it through just as many have before us. Pray for this storm to pass, pray for our temples and churches to be able to be reopened, pray for peace, pray for your personal needs, talk to Heavenly Father. Have hope and take things one day at a time. Lots of love. - Chelle

Coronavirus Rural Arizona

With the recent pandemic if the Coronavirus people have been curious as to how I am doing and generally afraid for me. I am of today fine. It has not hit our county yet. So I am far more concerned over a common cold or flu. I am not panicking. I am living life as normal because this is my everyday life. I don't go out to large crowds ever. I stay home much of the time. I work from home. I wash my hands like crazy and I take the best care of myself I know how. So as far as changes go it is just staying in a bit extra but literally my life is the same. I did brave the stores yesterday as we hadn't gone grocery shopping in 3 weeks. I have been down because my iud expelled. If it's going to happen to someone we know it's going to be me. So I was pretty bad off due to this because I went two weeks assuming it was my endometriosis/adenomyosis acting up. I have severe adenomyosis. So when you're chronically ill sometimes it takes longer to realize there is a problem. So due to this we had bare cupboards. My husband would have willingly and happily gone grocery shopping alone but I am feltnlikenthisnwas something that I needed to do myself... and I was physically up to it after some extra meds, some liquid nutrion, and several salon paas pain patches. I went in with faith that I though should be extra cautious, the lord can take care of me. I prayed to be able to find the proper groceries and medications that I require and that my family and I both would not  fall ill and I left it with my faith that the lord. He would allow me to provide for my family. My role in life. I had a partner which helped cut down on time. I did a grocery order so I didn't have to physically go in the store as long. But we needed more and they didn't have a large portion of my order. I was successful with my patience at getting what I needed. I even got one of the last toilet papers from a worker unboxing about an hour after giving up hope. I was out of TP... not hoarding. I do not believe others should be hoarding it is not helping one another.  Itnisnhurtinf one another and I am an advid seeker of being prepared but that doesn't mean harming others. We are to help our neighbors in time of need. Though at the stores tensions were high I reminded myself christ like love. And you know what happened despite ALL those people in the store that were grumpy and on edge. I smiled, said excuse me, and most responded well to this. Simple christ like love. My family and I kept eyes out for each other and bought goods we needed for each other that we were out of so we had a whole team shopping for our family and that also helped us all get what we needed* suffienctly. It was weird to see bare shelves  but I do a 75% all liquid diet so I was super worried that I wouldn't be able to find my proper diet. But no one touched the nutrtion drinks and protein powders. Me and my husband have discussed we will be making  our year supply in the form of meal replacement powdered drinks that we both like... so not to waste but it hydrates you and you get a rounded diet. It also has a long shelf life. And if my gastroparesis is bad I can run it through my feeding tube and actually absorb it. My panic came from my gastroparesis and absorbing and my special diet. But like I said no one touched that nutrtion enriched dry storage. (But I hear adults are buying baby formula without babies. They are buying it for themselves and there is not enough nutrition in this you guys. Save it for the babes they can't eat  other things. Buy ensure or other meal replacement drinks!) Just an idea for others. Luckily we had a good supply of bottled water prior to this. And are able to share it with family. I feel my prayers are heard and answered. Me and Husband have been extra blessed recently and we feel so grateful in our hearts and look forward to our future for the first time in a while. Being so sick was a crazy way to start a marriage and hopefully now we get to enjoy and live our life a little bit more. Hopefully reach some goals. Families are what is important now and this past month almost all of my family members have had close calls with fragile life. But the lord protected them fully. Jusy like I pray ever single day for him to. And it has been a  Great reminder of what is truly important. Remeber not to panic and have faith over fears. Follow your promptings and the church's guidance. Stay well. Think of other's well being besides your own because it matters too. I promise I am trying to stay well.  -lots of love, chelle