I have not known where to pick up my blog. I have had a sick brain and that totally disturbed my writing. Simple tasks became hard. I guess I'll just do a time line of what has been going on the last few months. This way everyone is caught up. I was in the hospital for several weeks Then once out I had to stay in the valley. I could not travel due to the altitude change. It posed a huge risk to my brain. So, once I was out of hospital I stayed in the valley and I was on bed rest the whole time. It got to the point where they told me, you're so sick this is just the way it's gonna be. There isn't enough medication to safely manage this pain. So I waited and about a week out of hospital they did another blood patch. Blood patch #3, and #4. They really went to town with these patches and patched my whole mid back down. This process helped significantly! I was better from that point. (Well I had to recover but the issues and head pain.) We did a the myleogram later even thought the risks of causing a leak were high. They needed a map to see where things say. Well they way well because in this particular test it didn't show anything active. When I had this myleogram, I personally think it caused me a small leak becaus, I was never the same after this very test... So I was sent to neurology for further care. I've been waiting on this process.
Mean time I was beautifully blessed with a wonderful, perfect wedding day! It was hard getting there! There was definite sucking it up and pushing through days but I got there! It was worth every single thing!! It was perfect. The weather was good for a fall November day! It didn't rain or snow! (My worries because we had to push the wedding date out because I was so sick.) I felt good during the wedding and reception!! I know Heavenly Father was behind this blessing. And now I'm happily married to my best friend 💕 We do intend to be sealed in the temple on our anniversary.(I would like to add, never give up HOPE! If you are sick and you think you'll never get married because of it... Stop! I was there. I wouldn't even date for years due to believing I wasn't ever going to be enough to be loved. Or I was too sick for marriage... No you are always enough and the right person won't care about it! So keep dreaming!!) I've just been busy turning my house into a home. We have been very blessed with gifts and are oh so thankful! But I have to admit there was a day when I was tired of opening boxes and cleaning things to cook or eat. Haha! It was Christmas in the G home for a month but my heart is in love with having my own kitchen to cook in. I don't know why there has always been something spiritual about cooking in the kitchen on a icky day and listening to Hilary Weeks or hymns.
Unfortunately, I have been down the past two weeks. (But don't worry my floors are still clean thanks to this beautiful blessing! With my back issues and health issues we felt it was a very worth getting!) One day I simply dropped something and bent over to pick it up. I blew my blood patch. The only way I can describe this feeling is to put a water ballon next to your spine and pop it. My spine is still leaking. I immediately contacted the Blood Patch doctors. They needed neurology to do an order for a blood patch. But Neurology deemed me "too complex patient" (because of my Dysautonomia and other medical conditions) and thought that being in bed, in pain, on pain meds, and having neurological side effects for the next two and a half weeks would be better for me. So I have an appointment this coming Monday. I pray the doctors can squeeze me in for a blood patch! If I don't end up in the hospital sooner. I have only progressed downhill fast. I started hearing voices, and I hallucinated two nights in a row. My vision is messed up, my speech is all over the place. My blood pressure is high again. I have the same stroke face and I have those episodes of seizures again. It's honestly gotten scary again for me. I don't know when to take myself into the ER. Last time I had aystemic meningitis, bleeding brain, and CFS leak. So I don't know what symptom came from which problem. They told me yesterday they thought my brain currently is bleeding with the newer symptoms and my history. So I currently have a treatable Spinal fluid leak that is beating up my brain and possibly making it bleed.
How do I get through this stuff? I pray often, hard, and a lot. That's the only thing that gets me through these crazy challenging times. No matter what's going wrong in your life or how scared you are, pray. Cling to Heavenly Father and I promise he will always be there to help comfort you! It doesn't mean the trial will leave, but easiness can take place as well as healing of the mind and body. I don't know how I got SO sick but I do know my Heavenly Father loves me and can heal me. I have felt angels around me on very dark nights. I know D&C 74: 88
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