Comatose?

I wore a bathing suit. With Cushing's syndrome. Courage my friends. Courage. 

After plasma exchange in July, I had a few golden days. It cleared up the dangerous symptoms and I started thriving it seemed. Then I started sleeping all the time. Usually I can't sleep. Things just weren't bright anymore. And not depression, this was different. Turns out not to be scary but since my body almost went into a coma it has decided it likes the comatose world. So neurologist was treating me out of comatose world with a medication to waken me. I had to wean up it and some how I accidentally moved it out of my system. (By error). I have a very serious medication system and I removed the medication at some point a few weeks ago. I don't know when. I have no memory of it. And I didn't even realize I was missing it. Scary, my memory is these days. It seems every other word out of my mouth is incorrect too. Brain injuries simply suck. I feel incredibly stupid these days. God humbles me that's for sure. I thought I must not need the medication somce.i didn't notice it was gone...  but my mom thought maybe we should give it a try since lately I'm sleeping through my life. Which was seemingly ruining everything and taking my spark away for life. So we started it and it immediately helped.
I still have a ways to go but the last few days I feel like me again. Just a few days ago I was fully crushed wondering if I would ever feel good again.... if I'd ever feel like me again... I prayed long and hard and woke up from a nap realizing I was no longer taking a medication I apparently need... I felt guilty and ashamed for making such a mistake. I don't know that regularly people know how much work truly goes into 11 chronic illnesses. I'm human and things will happen. It's a lot to manage.  I'm still tired but my family has gotten me through the week and I got to live a little today at the lake with husband.

Things simply aren't the same but I am still me. That's hard to remember these days but I know God has a plan out there for me. I don't know what it is but he does. I have been praying not to run from pain and to embrace it. Less fear of the unknown more faith. I'm full of gratitude for the olive branch I received today. That's what today was an olive branch. Thanks Heavenly Father. Love, -Chelle
P.S my hair isn't falling out after months of falling out in clumps and is growing new baby hairs..I'm ecstatic!