Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Week 3 Covid19 Quarantine

This dog is always at my side when I need him. He is so sweet and comforting when I am down... I don't not know what I would do with out this pup and his love.
My guts are defective today. I had IVIG yesterday and it is supposed to treat my severe Gastroparesis as well as so many other conditions, but apparently that did not happen. But as long as my brain doesn't flare I truly can't complain. I am in so much pain. And I am a little sad and I cried for a moment in pain. A song played in my head, "you with the sad eyes you don't need to worry" and I immediately felt comfort by the spirit and I knew in that moment the lord is aware of my struggles. He knows my pain and he knows my suffering. He did not lighten the pain but he gave me comfort to get through the storm. Coronavirus is scarier when you have over 10 complex serious comorbidities. My heart is a little tired today. I am tired of being in pain today after a painful day of IVIG yesterday. Sometimes the medications I take to combat the side effects get to my head and make me weepy and upset. But it's the price I pay to stay here on earth. God gave me the option and I chose to stay. I will continue to fight because I know I have more to do. I am not writing this blog for others. I am writing it for me. I just hope it helps others along the way. We can be sad we can feel and that is the beauty of it. This way when we find happiness we really know what happiness is. God is in control. He will never leave you alone. Even when your crying in your bathroom he will be there for you

Last week we baked cookies I was weak so it was with the help of my handy dandy stand mixer and Husband. They are so yummy (not today. No food for me today) We are finding activities to try to stay positive so I do not go stir crazy. I feel so vintage lately.
I am thankful for this guy and his ability/willingness to administer the sacrament in our little home. We definitely feel blessed by this and i know I feel much peace from this during our time of need. The Lord is amazing in his ability to always provide for his children and be there for them too. Update on how Covid19 is effecting me: all appointments are by telemed only. I can not leave my house and haven't in weeks. No visitors. I do have a nurse who comes to my house for a day a week and infuses my IVIG. I asked if he gets sick what is going to happen? To which he responded, "I don't know. No one has talked about it in the company" (nice) so he showed me the few things I didn't know how to do just in case. This way I can infuse myself and luckily I already know how to access my own port and give myself iv meds. I've never been more grateful for my independence in my healthcare. I always tell people to be as independent as possible. Not only is it healthier but look what it can do for you in a crisis. Advocate for yourself fellow spoonie and hang tough -Chelle

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