God talks.

Some times God just has a way of letting you know everything is going to work out.

 

Even when you're flying by the seat of your pants and jump into starting a new business. Being Chronically ill is oh so challenging in all ways! Even financially it's hard to work and sometimes impossible. Yet you have to still pay yo bills. But I have a huge faith in Heavenly Fathers plan for me and all I need is love & my family. Don't ever take your health or family for granted its all this life is really about here. Things are just things. Families are forever. Love -Chelle 

These past few weeks I've gotten extra husband time and it has been the best! I am healthier so we can do a smudge more and it's nice to feel nice and have fun! 

The other night we went to dinner and a movie for the first time since married. We saw Toystory 4 and I LOVED Toystory growing up. My uncle got it for us for Christmas one year and we used to watch it on repeat. Back in the day on VHS and you had to rewind the tape. Silly how times have changed. But the ending sincerely disapponted me. But that's just my opinion and that's all I'm going to say. Nonetheless we had fun and that's what it's all about! 

          

He is my "favorite Deputy" "you got a friend in me" -Chelle 

I don't know if I'll ever stop comparing myself to normal people.

One of the hardest parts of being chronically ill is comparing yourself to others. We all do it but when you don't function at a regular level, it's hard. I want more then anything in the world to be "normal" again. To be the old me. Yes I've grown and I've been blessed beyond blessed. I've seen things and know things about the other side of the veil that I wouldn't without my trials. I have a faith that is bigger then my fears. And that took time and being extremely ill. At times faith is all I had to grasp to. Day to day I didn't know where I was or what was happening to me. I literally lost my mind just six short months ago. But I didn't really. My brain was under attack by my immune system. But Satan was using this to his advantages. Doctors deemed me crazy and treated me like less then a human being. Some knew I was dying and simply turned their cheeks. All the while I shit down and suffered severely. My family suffered severely. It was a very dark time. I was close to that veil again. And let me promise you Heavenly Father knows your afflictions. He knows your pain. He knows your sorrows and your heartaches. And at times it's a year of faith to rest in him, to truly trust in him. Like when you completly start to seizure, hallucinate, go cray cray, and then go catatonic and almost con arose. When you constantly don't know where you are or what's being done to you. I'm glad I don't remember and have permanent memory loss. But I do know that I was surrounded by angels and my Heavenly Father's love for me at that time was fierce. And in this nasty recovery of side effects from such high doses of steroids that I couldn't even recognize myself in a mirror competent swollen in so many ways head to toe. Covers in rashes that hurt. Being completely isolated because of lack of immunity. Idk completly why I had to nearly die, and recover from this nasty terrible disease after ALL I've been through already. And many tears have been shed. But what I do know is my Heavenly Father loves me enough to let the storms come. He lets them mold me and challenge me past my limits. He challenges my loved ones. And sometimes that breaks my heart as I feel so helpless to them all in those trenches of physical war. But don't give up no matter how afraid, tired, and just completely insanely bullied or isolated you may feel. No matter how

Many normal people you see pass you by when it took you a week to get out of the house and stand next to these normies. The overwhelming feeling and grieving of missing the old you will hit in these moments. But don't let Satan win. Be the stronger one and see all the good. Remember just how hard you worked to get to this vey moment. Even if it's gut wrenching and hard.  God is there I promise and the afterlife is so going to be worth all the heck we go through here on earth. -Chelle 

Uh, Father's Day

I'm currently laying I bed at 3:08 P.M. Don't be fooled however, I woke up at 7:30 this morning. I am simply working on getting stronger and healing. Today I FINALLY drove for the first time since SEPTEMBER!! That's 9 whole months of not being able to drive! It felt amazing to feel independent again. Seriously! It's baby steps and big steps. Life keeps passing by and I am doing my best to roll with it. I have gotten off 2 medications this month and I'm super glad about that! I take too many to count so you know less of me playing pharmacist... My face is healing my weight hasn't moved on the scale but I keep slowly shrinking I hope! Steroids are mean! They told me it would take a year for the weight to leave me. That's a hard thing for me. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger!

Last weekend we made it to the Lake for the first time since I've gotten sick & this year! We enjoyed nature and fresh air for a bit, and of course those beautiful sun shine rays!

And then I came Home and took a relaxing, Kinda creepy blackberry bath, but on the bright side it didn't stain my bathtub 😉 I felt like Ursula.

Father's Day weekend was good we went to dinner at the grandparents for steak and lobster. YUM!!

Happy belated to all those incredible fathers out there including our Heavenly Father who knows us better then anyone else. Who knows our trials, tribulations, triumphs, & personal destinations. He is the details of our lives & I am eternally grateful for his never ending love for me!

 
Especially mine.-Chelle

Super busy🙌

It's officially 6 in the morning and I've been up since five so what better then to watch the beautiful Arizona sunrise and write a blog post 

The last week we have bee super busy! We put our tiny yard in and it officially feels like summer! 

We also added plants so it looks better already! 

Nothing says Sumer like beautiful bright flowers! 

                                     

It's the little things in life people! I have been able to get out a bit more and I am excercising more all the time a.k.a my at home "Physical Therapy". My neuro isn't ready to put me in rehab because my brain is still healing so it could be wasteful at this very time. So my sweet husband and I decided we would work on things together. I had lost my ability to move let alone dance.

So, it's fitbits & Nikes! We went with "Just Dance" on our Nintnedo switch. And I tell you that boy loves this game more then me! This week I have gained new movement control and a little more range of motion. I'm not getting stuck on the floor as much when I would sit on the floor or anything like that if literally not be able to get back up again. It makes my heart happy to see minor but major improvements. I also adult color, write my letters, & read to help my brain reheal.

I figure it's not going to hurt anything to try.

My speech was being a rock star but a few days ago I  started slurring and stuttering again. GRR!  Drives me cocoa bananas when this happens! There are a lot of emotions that come and go from
anger, anxiety, to happiness... And that's life. We were sent here to learn and grow. God is going to give us trials and there's nothing we did wrong. He is simply letting us grow, no matter how unfair or heart wretching the situation may be... Take heart, for those who have walked before us have been trialed. If you read the scriptures they teach us of trials and tribulations. God is our parent and some times he must let the storms pass on their own for our own good. 

This has been a long recovery and much has been left to pass. But I've learned a bit and there has  been good of it. I know Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us so very much! My Grandma Pearl used to tell me this and she held a strong testimony of doing the best you can and the lord will help with the rest. I've been thinking of her a lot lately as it is about been a year since she passed. A year ago I was healthier in Utah, saying my goodbyes to my sincerely sweethearted souled grandmother. I miss her dearly but her strong faith reminds me consistently what love, faith, and family is all about. And I try to live by her examples. I may miss her but I know she has been with me in scary times. Plus we know of the plan of salvation and that she is returned home again with loved ones who have passed before her. What a blessing and reunion that must be! Since she passed I just incvision  her cutting a rug with grandad when I think of her up in heaven. So I hope that's the case. I think it's time for a protien drink. Good morning! 

Remember who you are, and do the best with what you can and leave the rest to the savior! With love -Chelle

We decided to bring Grandma some

Pink roses later this morning. I felt I needed to go visit her. I walked into the store and my eyes immediately locked into these pink flowers. They looked like her.

And I pointed and said, "those are the ones." My phone somehow unhooked from the car's Bluetooth while I took these pictures and the song, River God by, Mindy Gledhill was playing. I hope you enjoy your roses Grandma! I miss you oh so much & "love you a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck."

 

Eyes can tell a lot. Autoimmune Encephalitis

I found a picture I took in Feburary for one of my doctors I cropped my eyes to show what I can't describe.. I was so sick I couldn't even hold my eyelids open and I was just so ill. I was on steroids so they where swollen. My eyes didn't look bright. They didn't even look alive. The lights where on but nobody looked very home. But I was in there. Makes my heart sad to see what I've been through looking back lately but I'm full of gratitude for the out pouring of blessings and tender mercies I know I recieved from Heavenly Father. I was being ever so watched over. "And mine Angels round about me to bear me up" upon those hard times . -Chelle

June.

June is here. That means wedding season is upon us. Last weekend

A sweet dear cousin was married.

So of course we had some wedding reception fun with family. Family is to be cherished and I love every second I get to spend with mine!

My sweet husband is new to the family and I have too many cousins to count so he keeps asking when the next wedding is! Oh boy! There isn't currently a next. But we are practicing our just dance games for the next one. (Best push coal therapy I've ever had!) I've lost a lot of abilities this year and dancing is one or really movement in general. But I don't give up that easily.

I wouldn't take pictures before, but I will now. So what I gained steroid weight and I got moon face, steroid rashes, and no immune system, oh and the constant hair loss. 

But I'm still me.

Stephanie Neilson taught me many years ago that it's not about your scars, it's all about your heart. That message stood with me strongly for years of tubes being shoved in and out of me. But the steroids felt like I went to sleep (memory loss) and woke up an entirely different person. I now knew what Stephanie more was referring to. So I'm trying to keep that small strong message in my head &  will focus on living. Though, that was not always the case I locked myself away from the world for several months amd cried every time I saw my reflection in those very avoided mirrors. As time

Passed with a little pushing from family, I finally was willing to leave the house again.

I mean after all I did just slip by deaths door once again. If that's not a sign to enjoy our time here on earth I don't know what is. Grab your loved ones and hold them close because time is truly precious.

Time is a gift Gods gives every soul here on this earth. No matter how short we came and we succeeded in getting a body to return home. We don't know when those times will be cut short. So go, live, & most importantly love. Oh and don't forget to laugh along the way! -Chelle