Rough morning

I could use prayers during this crazy time... my body finally heard about Covid19 and decided it wanted to play games. 

I'm having a rough morning. I thought I had a stomach bug but I have been sick for several days and it seems more serious then a stomach bug. I would have been in the ER if it wasn't for Mr. Coronavirus being worse then whatever is wrong with my bowels. Luckily I have been able to slowly hydrate. And always keep powerade on hand for these moments. I've passed out several times while home alone and this is scary. I am in excruciating pain constantly and taking lots of meds to combat it. I am supposed to be having a colonoscopy but has gotten put off due to cornonavirus understandably. My iud did expell last month so I truly thought this had to do with it as it only happens on my cycles. But no iud and it came back this month. I alonf with my doctor have a huge suspicion that it could be endometriosis growing on my bowels. (I did reach out to a friend who has been through this and it matches symptom to symptom. And timing) This breaks my heart a little. I do not need surgery right now. I have worked SO very hard to find this stability within my health and surgery can flare me bad. It can also go perfectly fine but it is always so scary I am so high risk so many factors are included not just during surgery but after. The hospital my lovely favorite surgeon is at, (one of the top surgeons in the country for this and the only one I trust to do these operations on me repetitively) is the very same hospital that did not believe I had autoimmune encephalitis last year. The neurologists don't believe me and don't  believe my neurologist who treats me. They told my neuro they knew I was severely sick but didn't want to do anything for me. During this hospital stay I rember very very little. My memory is wiped. But I clearly remember Heavenly Father coming to me and giving me the option to stay here on earth with my family but it would be tough or I could choose to keep fading  away and come home again. I chose to stay for my family. I was in so much pain. That I do remeber. My memories during that stay the few I have are also of me looking down at myself. I was on the edge of death and literally being called crazy with a clear diagnosis by another neurologist of Autoimmine Encephalitis but they wanted their own tests which took weeks and it's more complex then a test. Plus months prior I tested positive for it. There was no questions.... And kicked me out before the test results came back. I dont want to go through that ever again. I have never been so scared to think of a possibility of surgery in my life. It is a tough time to be chronically ill But I sit here praying to know which direction to choose. Obviously I would wait out the coronavirus to clear up best I could first. My heart is a little concerned and heavy. This popped up on social media at just the perfect time as the perfect reminder that heavenly father loves me. He knows me. He is helping through this. We are indeed never alone if we look worh willing eyes and a soft heart. -Chelle
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