ALS Scare.

I had a BIG scare last week. One of my Doctors thought I had ALS. I truly thought I was going to die. (I kept thinking; "if the disease didn't get me the anxiety of thinking I was dying would have".) I do have many new worsening neurological symptoms. They range from mild to very severe. They are scary looking for sure. They definetly can alarm myself at times. I'm having difficulties with small motor skills, talking, writing, severe vision. I have facial drooping and tremmors. I have poor gait. I am tremmoring severely. It looks at times like I've had a stroke. (Basically neurologically I'm a hot mess.) this is all accompanied by fevers. I am blessed and my neurologist has ruled out ALS. He is focused on new testing for autoimmune-neurological conditions. He did not specify which ones. We are taking this one step at a time. He has upped my IVIG treatments as I have been responding positively to them. If I ever get answers, I'll let you know and add more detail. You never know who it could help. It could be a very severe case of Mast Cell Dysfunction that is causing severe wide spread neurological symptoms. Mast cells can cause these things. So we are treating the Mast Cell Dysfunction harder. Neuro seems to have high hopes for remission, but it's gonna take finding the right treatments again.  I wrote this last week, when I was scared more then I've ever been before. The whole situation didn't make sense spiritually with where I am, which gave me comfort. I'm getting married, (said yes to the dress today) finished pathways program last week, and I'm trying this Bloggerlife again. It didn't add up with what promotings I have been given but it was still a challenge. I am SO blessed. It was a long week and I know Heavenly Father was with me many times. Prior to my neurology appointment, I had a feeling I needed to say a prayer. So I told Mom, that I wanted to pray again. I looked down to cross my arms to pray, andsure  enough two flecks of glitter on each side of my shirt. So my angels were with me. Luckily, the appointment went well for me and my anxiety of having a terminal disease was eased. Though, I am still dealing with the aftermath of it all in reality. Last week I wrote this, Because I was trying to have faith within the storm. Last week's post: I'm really scared. More than I've ever been in my life medically. This hasn't happened before. I had a blessing and it gave me peace. The anxiety still waves however, when I pray, I get more peace. My family assures me it can't be. I'm still scared. I have great faith, but my heart is overwhelmed. I woke up this morning, and then remembered my current reality. I've brushed death before but this is different. Heavenly Father is the ONLY one who can help me now. The song "He will lift you heavy load and carry you" plays through my head. And "perfect peace". I can feel Heavenly Father speaking to me. I'm resting on him. I'm walking forward in faith. Scared, fully blindly, I walk in faith. I have been given an amazing partner in my life. He is perfect. We giggle and laugh. We joke and we smile, even in the worst of times. We sit in the hospital testing center, and "critic" the art on the walls. Just to be silly and take our minds off things. But he is good, so good to me. He has full faith I don't have this. For me, I'm shaking in fear, but walking in faith. Trust in God. He hears you. He knows you. No matter how scared you may feel. He is there for you. Right now, it is one minute at a time. My scriptures brought me help last night, reading in D&C 8:2 "Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall be come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart." (It was a sticky note from above, and a reminder that Heavenly Father is true, I believe in him, I know him, and now I have to trust in him. He loves me and will guide me through. ) -Chelle