Side note: I have never been ashamed or embarrassed of my feeding tube. And I will never be! If someone doesn't like your feeding tube A.K.A lifeline they can just get over it! Be proud💕
Having a feeding tube, almost dying, (being saved by TPN to the day. God is good), going back into full remission, then getting my feeding tube removed, to relapse a year later, and to end up getting another feeding tube... I have been fighting it. I did not even realize it. I have been hoping I could go back to a G tube since day one. And I still think that is a very possible option. I can eat by mouth but it's a struggle. I can't drink enough so the tube stays. Then I flare up in the middle of the night and I have to attempt to pull the food I digested 9 hours prior and avoid throwing up as much as possible. While I wait for the nausea to subside. Then I went to sleep and I haven't eaten today. This flareup opened my eyes. I have not been grateful for this blessing, that a feeding tube is to my life. And that changes now. My stomach hurts and my body doesn't even really tolerate J feeds of water. My body flares still and that's the way it is. Today something in my brain clicked. Why am I fighting my feeding tube? I had full exceptance of this tube for years. Why this time? I rocked this thing then full force, I had moxy. What was the difference this time? I suppose, because I worked so hard to eat on my own... I never planned on getting it out prior. I didn't think it was a possibility then. Now l know with Neurological Gastroparesis I can improve and go into remission. But with the term "remission" that just means it's good for now... It can always come back. Otherwise it would be called, "cured". And that's the way the cookie crumbles. So I may as well accept it like before, and embrace this feeding tube! I know for a fact there is nothing to not love about a feeding tube! It hydrates me daily, it provided nutritional support, it saves me in flares ups from vomiting violently. I would not have gotten over this flare up in two days time without the tube. I would have needed IV fluids, a trip to the ER, and my body would have gotten even more down. It would have wrecked havoc on my Dysautonomia. Who knows how long I would have been down for without the feeding tube. The truth is I love my tube and what it does for my health. But I struggled this time because I fell out of remission. And a lot of blood sweat and tears went into me getting to the point of remission. I will never quit fighting my Gastroparesis. I will eat as much as I can. So now We are back on the Fast food diet! It has a lot of pros... You can eat while virtually doing almost anything, anytime, and any where. Even in your sleep. You get very well measured nutrition. (That's way harder to attain in a diet by eating solid food.) I don't have to cook if I don't want to cook. No dirty dishes. See there is always something good in the messy life we live. The best is yet to come. This tube is amazing and a blessing! If you have a feeding tube #rockit. I have peace in my heart. No more fighting life just embracing it fully, the way Heavenly Father intended, one day at a time-Chelle
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