Sunday, February 26, 2017

Thoughts in My Brain from Yesterday

Before church my tummy was so angry. But I preserved  and church was great! I now am drinking some Gatorade to replenish. (I have seen many POTSies suggest using the Gatorade powder and add extra powder so you get more electrolytes) I tried it out and I have to say it is Wayy too much sugar! And I think I will stick to my unflavored pedialyte and juice. I personally don't recommended this Gatorade powder trick. I'm so fatigued. I do drink Gatorade and Powerade on occasion but I tend to always stick to my pedialyte. I did sleep last night (Saturday)  & when I woke up.. I was very disappointed to find an angry body. It was well rested, but the physical stress must be too much and has caught up. I'm tired but I'm happy. I feel so blessed to partake the sacrament no matter how nauseated. That was such a frustration for me, not being able literally physically to even go to an hour of church. It was hard and I felt guilty a lot of Sundays. But as I prayed Heavenly Father told me he understood My efforts. That it was okay & he knew I'd try to muster up some sort of Studies, and mostly conference talks on Sunday's. My efforts were not unnoticed. I don't think anyone ever thinks that one day Church could literally not be an option. Due to physical impairments... But it does happen. I can say General Conference gained a much bigger love during that time!  I feel blessed for the little but big simplicities in my life. Like attending Church. I had a trying week but a good week.
I restarted physical therapy, I had a VW picnic, I got some sunshine. I seem human again. My progress can be slower then I'd like at times but I just have to rely on My faith. Then that means I must work on My patience. Keep smiling, Life is good-Chelle                                                  (I would like to add a side note: sometimes I see some very disappointing posts on Social Media. Poking fun at people's weaknesses. I know memes are funny. I've spent many nights with insomnia reading them and giggling. But there is a line to be crossed. There is a difference between taking a photo off a movie or a clip, using a cat, and using a real person's real life post... as the tail end of a joke. Yesterday, there was a viral photo with a severe skinny malnourished teen. It poked fun at her anorexia. It called her "stupid". Anorexia is a disease. That's not funny nor okay. Her struggles to eat are not a joke. How do You think she is feeling after the photo she posted went viral as a joke on her illness? (Wether she is taking action of care or not. She is clearly struggling.) For all any of us know... it's not anorexia it could be a different disease. One she has no control over at all. I was called anorexic by many medical professionals. Meanwhile I was slowly and rapidly starving to death. I had a paralyzed stomach. No matter how hard I tried the docs wouldn't interviene. Thankfully Heavenly Father guided Me when I wasn't sure if I was really overreacting, or if My specialist was brushing me off. So after not eating for 3months. I went into my appointment and demanded blood work be done to put my worried mind at ease. (She claimed I was fine.) Heavenly Father warned me the night before in prayer to work fast. So I got upset and I remember begging for these labs. She refused. And I left in tears and promised I would never return. (I still have not returned) my PCP the next day started tube feeding me via IV. I was severely malnourished. I did almost die of starvation. So when I can see a physically ill sick person. Who is starving. To the point I can see death is too close for any comfort. It is not funny!! Starvation is truly miserable. It effects everything in you. I remember it felt like my brain wasn't even working. It was physically & mentally draining to put it lightly. It hurt severely in ways you couldn't understand unless you have been there too! And a lot of my Gastroparesis friends can look anorexic at times. What people don't see is under the clothes lays a feeding tube and/or an central IV line. But most importantly a very wonderful person who is struggling to not starve to death. And sometimes they do starve to death.... Many diseases cause weight loss and malnutrition. Anorexia and bulimia do too. They can result in death. So You think that young girl clearly struggling with body image is going to take this viral attack at her body well? (Assuming that's what's even wrong) Dont poke fun at illness in any form. Our laughter should not come from dragging another human being through the mud. We should not tear down to build ourselves up. That's bullying. Love one another. You don't know what you can't see on the outside. You don't know what battles people are fighting on the inside.. What if that was your Social Media post? Or your family members? Would it still be funny or hurtful? Let's just be kind to one another. I am going to work on this too. Kindness is contagious. I also believe being mean is contagious as well. Even unintentionally. Satan wants us to sin. So it's easy to laugh.  But be the light of this earth and the example to treat all with respect, love, and kindness. Online as well. It's easy to hide behind computers... If You saw this girl in real life would you go up to her and tell her she was stupid? Probably not... Treat people the same online as you would in person. I know if we all do these things our hearts will soon be filled with happiness and love. Thanks! Your Friend-Chelle