Friday, June 2, 2017

2%

followed up with my oral surgeon today (he rocks) though I disagree oral surgery rocks lol... I have an infection that 2% of patients get. Oh yes, 2%. I know that sounds just like a Michelle statistic! Literally. I wish I could win the lottery with this good ole luck I have! More antibiotics, more time and healing. I am feeling the best today I have felt. Pain is so much more in control and going down. The hospitalist kicked me out (I knew) and told my surgeon I was out of pain and wanted to go home. (Well that was not true) my pain was breaking through on IV pain meds at rediculous high doses. So that explains the many days of excruciating pain. I should have been in patient for a few more days. Kinda frusterating but that's corporate medical care via hospitals these days. #awful! I loved the facility so sad the doctor failed. My surgeon was rad though and took good care of me! I'm sure if he was in town things would have been different because he took good care of me when the hospitalist refused to hospitalize me post surgery. (They changed their minds quickly) so more healing!
I do not think I have enough Ibuprofen! Literally this is not very much (wait it is very much but it is a regular amount) but due to having Gastropresis and the need to put it through my feeding tube. I must have it in liquid. Mostly kids take liquid so I take a lot of that liquid for a simple dose of regular for an adult... I just thought it was funny the pharmacist told my Mom, "this sucks she has to have liquids because it takes so much for her to just have a regular dose. It's so much space!" My Mom said she told him, "You should see my house." (True medical supplies are so space consuming!) Just a little chronic reality tid bit for You. Mom has said a lot this past week "She will gladly give me My job back and go back to work" haha. "She doesn't know how I do it." Or "how I keep track of it all." It is a lot to keep track of my treatments and organization of it is crucial. It's so much work to keep it all together and be prepared and stay on track of my care. Daily it's lists and phone calls. Multiple. It's pill calanders and constant dosing. And that's just one part of things. But it's worth it. Today I even put makeup on. not a sign that I am healed or even fine honestly... But a sign of improvements none the less.
(Gosh, I love contouring especially still with the little bits of cheek swelling! I have yellow bruises and We found today why my stinking chin hurts so bad. It's all yellow under it and now moving down my neck a bit. Bruises!) I can look wonderful, heathy and be super sick. I know how to use that concealer! Sometimes You do just suck it up and put your  "face on"! do your hair... It's good for your mindset. Some days it takes all my spoons but mentally it is so good for me. It's good to take care of your mental state living chronic. One thing I truly do NOT miss is not recognizing myself in the mirror. (No I didn't get distorted but I couldn't get out of my bed. I could not get ready for the day. I couldn't simply put my makeup on or do my hair. I couldn't do anything literally.) And I had tubes being shoved in my body and looking back I was so blessed because Heavenly Father gave me the power to be strong minded. I remember praying that I could not be ashamed of my tubes, that I could remember that tubes were good for me, I could remember beauty was on the inside, And That I wouldn't shy away from foods/people. Gastroparesis wasn't what didn't let me get out of bed that was Dysautonomia. But Gagsripqreais added complexity of getting tubes up my nose, in my arm, chest, stomach. He came through for me. Everyday was not easy but looking back He helped me through that with having that mindset I still own. But I didn't feel like me for a long time. I was too ill and Illness will never look like me. I never want to go back to those days and if a little makeup helps that and helps me feel like me... that's all there is to it. It's worth it all.  But looking good and being sick... it's a super power chronically ill brings me none the less.... That's why we rock the Wonder Woman Hat for good measure 😉
Last night we celebrated my wonderful, sweet Grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary! So sweet! (Yes that cake is beautiful! My Grandma was admiring it and I told her,  "I baked it from scratch" jokingly! I always say I bake things from scratch to them when they obviously are store bought haha it's a silly between us. However I do bake well and pretty much only for them. Haha. It takes a lot of energy and effort for a POTSie to bake.)  I have the best grandparents literally! They are full of love always and life would definetly not be the same without them. They mean so much to me I just couldn't explain it if I tried! Too much love to comprehend. Now 60 years of mirage is something to be proud of and we are VERY proud of them❤️ such amazing examples! Mr. & Mrs. Woolford have built amazing lives together and work hard everyday!  Plus, You have a the most amazing redheaded Granddaughter named Michelle! (That's you know the really important part. Haha) Love You Two always and forever! Glad you are mine! -Chelle