Sunday, March 27, 2016

This Easter

This Easter weekend was good. I sent out to find an over the counter appetite suppressant (which I did not find with out weight loss so I did not get) The short trip somehow turned into a long trip and by the time we hit the grocery (our last stop)... I not only was having postural orthostatic tachycardia and feeling like my legs were going to  just give out from underneath me. But I too was starving and extremely nauseated. (No Meds helped me that day) I could only pray begging that I would not start heaving in the grocery store check out (thank goodness my body held it together until I got in the car then I heaved as my body wanted. ) my prayers were given to me! We then went home for a much needed dose of spiritual enlightenment so of course we watched women's meeting on Saturday (after the shopping  that felt like death) and enjoyed the messages. Now I am working on how I can be better about lending a helping hand, being kinder, and I don't smile as much so I thought I could for sure fix that lol.... I also want to work on being more humble. I always feel so ready to take on the world when the spirit enters my heart. And open my heart to helping those in need. I am unsure how someone sick like me could help a refugee but I haven't closed that door I will pray on it! Spread goodness in any way.      
Easter was good spent some good quality time together with my fam  bamb!
I did break down and pig out  at our dinner and of course made myself sick. I have never felt so hungry. I have not ever been so controlled by food. I am now hooked up to my slow drain bag. With a unhappy tummy 
(Calling my doc tomorrow for help with my starving. It's so much harder for me then it's ever been and I even broke down and cried because it's just simply not fair. I want to eat yummy, juicy, sugary foods) I know I am very blessed but some days just feel like rubbing salt in the wound. But back to the top. I will struggle but I choose to fight with the lord on my side. The gift of the resurrection gives me so much hope in this life. Knowing that one day I will be whole. I have been reading St. John this week in the bible. I will follow Him! In my moments of weakness it is him I turn to and he is the reason I know I will be okay even in desperate situations. (Like unfairly starving and making myself sick to have a taste of what everyone else eats)  okay I am done complaining...On the front of my "sticky notes book" a.k.a my book of faith ( I highly suggest having one, it's a place with all my favorite scriptures and quotes from talks all in one place to go to when in need)
with all my scripture quotes, it reads: "D&C 112:20 whosoever receiveth my word receiveth me." God loves you so much that's why he sent his son for you! Jesus Christ loves you so very much too . Let them love you and wrap their love around you. My favorite scripture quote I have memorized D&C 84:88, "I will be on your right hand and on your left and my spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you to bear you up." I can testify that is true.  I know this is true and there is simply not a lot of room between your right hand, your left hand, it's you in the middle wrapped in God's love. Remember that! Happy Easter -Chelle 
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