I learned a lesson today, "things can always be worse, we have to fight to make them better." (or open our hearts)
Tonight I was feeling very anxious over being so ill stricken. Sometimes I feel like it hits me all at once and I am staring all my biggest fears of being sick straight in the face. Believe me that is very frightening! So I prayed and asked not to be healed but for the ability to make it through this night(I felt I couldn't possibly take another second of it all) a few minutes later the anxiety worsened...I had a feeling to turn Pandora on and listen to Jesus music as I call it a.k.a. Hilary Weeks channel...(her music clicks with me and puts my emotions in place and good spirits in my heart.) So, I grabbed my trusty laptop and my mom was confused for I was laying on the couch, feeling awful and I randomly got up to get my computer ... I turned on Pandora and Find Me by Hilary Weeks is the first song...It was exactly how I felt I wanted Jesus to find me in my dark hidden corner of that moment of life... hearing that I cried my bad emotions out and felt a huge surge of reassurance he in fact had found me and heard me.... My angel who is always there is bad times a.k.a My Granddad who passed nearly six years ago came (he hasn't visited in a while and I suppose it's due to my sick cousin and he needs to be there, I am more than happy to share him) and I just automatically knew his presence was there and I automatically stopped crying and felt a wonderful calmness and peacefulness overflow me. oddly enough my mom woke up saying, "What" (I didn't say anything).... she said you said my name... I simply looked her in the eye and said I call you mom but granddad is here so I am sure he just wants his presence known.... after I calmed and I could tell he was gone a few minutes later I knew I needed to read my scriptures... I had a feeling to read a random page and it ended up being " The Acts:1:7 and he said unto them, It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power." ... at the moment I felt it was a sticky note saying... I need to not worry how long I will be sick and make myself suffer over time lines if healings or not healings.... God is in control and I must trust him....and it was a sticky note for me... I know reading it over he was speaking about the restoration of Israel... but I do have moments where I comprehend things in a spiritual moment and I know it is a total and complete sign from God for me to follow. I feel so blessed and grateful and loved. -Chelle
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