Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Today

Today I awaken, I crawl out of bed to take the dog out. I feel the pain everywhere. you know the usual. I have to wait a few seconds to let my blood pressure adjust. My heart rate heightens higher and higher. I get the leash and put it on the dog. Dizzy again, except this time I can not see for a few seconds. I go out the door in my pajamas. Come back in, take the least off. whoa, got dizzy. I walk into the kitchen to take my morning pill concoction. Decipher if I should be drinking water or and electrolyte. Darn, must have electrolytes (again), I miss drinking water. Take a deep breath, look around for something to eat. Must be high is sodium, I slept in... I need salt. I find a small can of cinnamon rolls 400mg sodium a roll, that shall do. I feel guilt sink in of such an unhealthy choice. Remind myself I need a huge salt intake in the morning. Preheat stove, throw the cinnamon rolls in the oven. My forehead hurts a lot! Look in the mirror, I have a scowl on my face. My muscles are stuck from the previous night of sleeping in pain. I sit and eat and have a good moment. Next I look at the task list for I know there are things to be done. If I don't write my tasks down I will forget. I start the task of packing for my 4 hour trip to Mayo. I am already wiped out. I look over my support hose to see if there are any tares or runs, sort them out and pack the good ones away in the suitcase. Ugh I need to rest... I rest a few minutes and get back up. Planning what to wear the next few days. Nope, can't wear that it will be too hot. mmhm those shorts are too uncomfortable. I finally decide on a few pieces and make one phone call. I hang up. I am done. I have a list full of things to do, but the fatigue is so bad I can barely move or think. the pain is deep into my muscles and bones. I can feel my heart rate beating fast, faster. take more salt pills. lay down and remind myself tomorrows another day. Get back up. Time to get those tasks done. hand go weak almost all the way numb. I can do this. I can do this.