Wednesday, December 24, 2014

I Had A Cry

Yesterday everything that has been eating at me ate me whole. I had some grieving. A long process yesterday and for some reason the Holiday season was not helping that. (all the chronically ill out there know what I mean) The Holidays can be very challenging for a chronically ill person. First stress will literally make us sicker and everyone stresses over the holidays. Then through my personal experiences, I stress about not being able to rest for a minute, I stress about getting over stimulated. I stress about being fatigued and weak. I stress on not being able to cook a thing or really help out others in that scenario and as a woman (that's my role) I can't go shopping so I therefore miss out once again. There is a lot of sadness that comes with these harsh realities. The holidays really make me upset now and no matter how hard I try it is a battle with myself I can not win. I cry every year. So I got all my alligator tears out yesterday to God and I pleaded for his help and asked for a blessing because I did not have anyone around to give me one and surely someone in heaven could give me a blessing. The second after I felt great peace and it felt like an army of angels had their hands down my arms and neck and around my head. After this I was able to take a small nap and escape that awful mental but then the very physical pains that I was experiencing. pain so bad it worn me down to nothing. But after I rested I took my meds ate some baby food (pears) and I felt like a whole different person. My heart rate went down to normal and is staying down!! For a POTSy that is big news! This is the 1st POTS medication I have been put on and I have to say it is working. I am far from cured but wow I feel like my body has calmed down a bit. I kinda feel like it is my Christmas miracle gifted by God, as always. May you have a Merry Christmas eve, Christmas day, and everything in between.  - Chelle