Thursday, December 18, 2014

I'm Trying

I know trials strengthen us and bring blessings to the very bottom of my heart. I know that. Tonight or this morning I should say I am up. I can't sleep anymore until after midnight. My brain and body simply just think nope it is time to be awake. It gets frustrating. I am on the sad end of things tonight... But I know it will get better in time. My body progressively has worsened for 8 and a half years now. I seem to be falling apart. That reality is sort of eating at me today. I just hope soon my condition improves, instead of worsens. sometimes being in constant pain and being sick always can creep up on you because it is simply super hard to go through. I remember for some reason (before I was sick) I used to think if a person was sick long enough it would become 'normal' and they would not know they where sick. Well I did not think that I wondered about it. FYI It doesn't become normal. In 8 years pain is still pain. Fatigue is still fatigue. Missing out is still missing out. And grieving is still grieving. I know I have big changes happening before my eyes but what I also know is the Lord and my Savior Jesus Christ are right there by my sides. With them I can do anything, even heal.
Leaving today to see a new neurologist Friday morning. Hoping to improve my neurological condition (POTS/Dysautonomia) & therefore better quality of life. Hard times come and we have to trust that they too shall pass. No matter how long they last. Here's  to another doctor hopefully it will be long lasting care :) (I know I am complicated, but I'm still a person) - Chelle
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