Monday, May 2, 2016

Shame on you

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm sick of being treated like dirt by hospitals. By doctors who view my as an inconvenience. A waste of time. My life has value. My pain has value. I have been told this week to stop going to doctors, to stop taking all my medication. That I have chosen this life as a Tubie and basically I chose these diseases by going to too many doctors. Let's ignore the whole big fact that all my diagnosises have full proof behind them! Non of my diagnosises were a guess. I have a test with proof. My medicine can be a lot but I also take a lot less then I could be. I also take a lot of vitamins and supplements to help my diseases. Yes I'm chronically ill no doctor can cure me of these diseases. I have full understanding of this. I have accepted this. I went to those hospitals for help with new symptoms that I haven't had before (not my diseases) though the first hospital slapped me with fibromyalgia (because that causes fevers and Kidney / flank pain along with urinary pain when going pee. And uncontrollably wretching for hours until my throat bleeds and has sores) I'm tired. I am mad they put me into withdrawal due to not giving me my regular at home medications. Their reasoning was because I came in at 9:30pm. Shame on you for not feeding me simply because I am tube fed and it was am inconvenience. Funny I do it daily with no fuss. They made me worse they did not help me nor did they even try. Don't you know I need to just go on an anti inflammatory diet BECAUSE I CAN EVEN EAT... I wasn't looking for a cure I was looking for help and respect for my new symptoms. My friends and I that are so chronically sick we have been proven that our deaths come from not getting proper care when we know we are not okay. The medical system is broken just because we live rough Lifes of chronically ill doesn't mean demeaning us as a person is ever okay. Sending us home to die is never okay. And by that I mean they tell us to quit, go home, and shut up. I might have cried but believe me I will never stop fighting because I know of my importance. I am aware of what I deserve. Now this is not all doctors their are many many great doctors but this is to my doctors this past week in the hospital shame on you. Shame on you for hurting me. Shame on you for judging me before you met me. Shame on you for calling me crazy. Shame on you for telling me to go home and quit. Don't tell me to go kill myself . Oh but you all came running to see my case treated me like a monkey at a circus. Just so you could now say you've seen suck a case. But you didn't because you limited and allowed yourself an education for free of a life time. But you didn't want to put in the work to help me. You just wanted to use me and send me home.  I hope no other patients get told these thing but sadly we do and I know because I have a great group of friend and support with the same diseases being treated in the same awful unbelievable ways. I am chronically ill I live in pain and sick, when I come to you for help maybe you should realize just how strong I am ... And if I came to see you there must be something wrong.treat me like a human being I deserve that at the very least-Chelle