Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Spillage

Poor Wrecker dog was sick  all day today I think he caught my tummy bug from the other day. Poor thing but he is alert and moving around tonight so he seems to be feeling better... He even just drank and ate. Good signs 
I had a good run today (not physically) but unlucky for me it's my migraine cluster time of the month. When I get my nightly migraines. This is my Iv it's cold so it felt good on my head but I'm sure it will feel better in my system. It's rediculous that no pharmacy up here can get me the proper form of my medication sumitriptain so I can have relief we are still working on getting the nasal spray due to the shot being too fast and my heart having side effects that my neurologist wasn't comfortable with. Riding the tide... We keep trying and it's not the pharmacies in town it's the supplier so yeah every few weeks I get a date of when it will be in and that date rolls around and then it gets pushed another few weeks... I've been working on it since the beginning of February. Meanwhile I'm just dealing with it. I luckily can take compazine benedryl mixture  but it doesn't work as well. They said they were going to give me samples and figure something else out at my next appointment. For the starving we are doing use what we'll I can't remember what the name exactly it is but it helps binge eating so suppresses the appetite (I don't eat through the tummy it is bypasses and goes straight to the intestines. So my stomach tells me I am hungry and empty and my brain signals the same. Which has led to me breaking down time and time again and basically eating until I throw up and it's so complex and frusterating. I do not need to eat by mouth in fact at this point it's better I do not because every time I vomit or wretch I risk throwing up my feeding tube. And making me sicker my body doesn't process food my stomach empties many many hours even s day later than it should be. But I literally feel starving though I get my nutritional needs met through my tubes. So we are hoping for relief because quite frankly I am worn out. Being sick has been a bigger tole on me lately. I think the last two hospital stays with the frusterating criticism with those jerk doctors in the valley was just the icing on the cake and the poor treatment I received mentally and physically. They were just mean and blaming me for everything. I understand answers can't be conjured up out of thin air but respect is and compassion as a human being is a whole different level. We wouldn't try making a paralyzed person walk would we?? so why did they try not feeding my paralyzed GI system? Because I have a tube? Was I supposed to eat food? That's the same as taking a wheelchair away from a paralyzed person and telling them just to walk. Any ways rant over. I am strong and I will continue my fight one day at a time. I will choose to count my many blessing and focus on what I am capable of doing. I think it's time to listen to, 'Trouble no more ' by mindy Gledhill "no more bandaids on my heart ache, no more smoke when I burn the pancakes, no more drowning in my sorrows, with your chin held up there's always better luck tomorrow "Until next time -Chelle