Saturday, February 15, 2014

I Did Not Know Healing Could Hurt This Bad.

My body is going through a lot of changes right now. For the very first time in YEARS I have felt pretty good through out everyday in two weeks! WOW a BLESSING for sure! However I didn't know how totally sore my body would feel after laying around in bed for a good 2 years. It makes since but I had no clue that when I started to feel better/good that I'd have  a totally new struggle with my body... My body is very weak I am finding it doesn't take much to wear it out and make my muscles Every so sore! (doctors & therapists say this soreness will last a long time) But with each sore muscle and pain I know it's like crossing the finish line, a victory, one at a time. The more normalcy I get in my life the more excited I get. I am jumping hurdles in the land of recovery right now. My body doesn't like it too much though it wants to fight it. When I say normalcy I mean literally just not laying in bed I spend most my time at home now but can go out for little bits at a time. I walked down the street and back by my house and whoa! did it hurt. I will keep pushing myself! I will recover and rehabilitate. Another thing that comes with feeling more like a human and not someone who just lays in bed and feels like she is so sick she must be dying a slow painful death...the emotional state... sometimes I am like a little kid, "look mom! look what I just did." really it's not big deal like the other day I stood on one leg by itself. I was proud of that little accomplishment for I used to not be able to stand sturdy on both legs.  This blog in itself has been HUGE for me those little things I post like Potpourri...those are things I would never of had the energy to do...doing my hair in a new hair due...never would of even thought about it...most days I did not even get ready for the day let alone think or find a new hair style. I feel so full of life in so many new ways. It's like I get to re explore the world again and things people take for granted with out knowing so. Like wearing jeans... I couldn't wear a simple pair of jeans with out being in massive pain...This week I wore jeans 4 days in a row! goodbye sweat pants and leggings, hello jeans! I've missed you my dear friend. On top of all that I feel all these rushes of emotions mixed good and bad. I feel like I don't know how to do things anymore and I don't know, just a lot of work ahead of me. But my father in heaven is with me guiding me everyday working with me and healing me. Blessings are happening. Now my days have been good....nights not so much I get the worst headaches all night from around 5 until I fall asleep. Along with all over aches, pains, & inflammation. This has been a battle but like I said blessings are happening and I will take my improvements whenever and wherever they come! Thank you heavenly father for my many blessings-