Friday, February 28, 2014

No Virus, New appointment at Mayo Clinic, & Stress Sundae

I almost didn't blog tonight when I got home...My heart is sad and I have been confused and upset and everything in between...I saw my new doctor Thursday! He was good and I really like him... here's the run down... HE feels I don't have any other autoimmune diseases (besides lichen planus) and all the millions of doctors I have seen previous to now have basically ran the same few tests...( no wonder we weren't getting any answers) I have been brushed off a lot! So he thinks I could have something called autonomic nervous system disorder or POTS... I will have the test next Friday and have a consult with a neurologist next month. THEN go back to rheumatology and go from there... I was super nervous/scared of all this new unexpected info. Yet, grateful ... after Mayo WE went to lunch then straight to physical therapy...after that I demanded we go to sweaty peas (frozen yogurt) it is self served and delicious!! I call it my stress sundae! It made me feel better! tonight I won't lie I got home and got on the internet and looked all this up and panicked and had a little large meltdown but my momma made me feel better and looked up everything and she doesn't think I have it... now that the panic has subsided I agree there are a lot of things that don't fit. Yet, we can see where the doctor was coming from the test does make sense and will be a good rule out if it is negative ( we hope for negative! I do not want this!) I am very upset and my nerves are on high...I hate being jittery! but the lord is near and I can endure any hardship with faith and I can have healing...prayers, faith, & patience. It is in gods hands and he has a plan for me whether I agree or not at times I just have to trust in him that it will be for the betterness of me.
                                                                  STRESS SUNDAE

                                                         The sunset  on our way to mesa...
P.S. WE GOT INTO MESA JUST IN TIME TO HAVE A HALF HOUR BEFORE BEST BUY CLOSED... GEEK SQUAD WAS VERY NICE & HELPFUL TO THIS GIRL WHO KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT COMPUTERS ***NO VIRUS JUST OPERATOR ERROR*** PHEW!

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Wacky Wednesday...Well Not Really More Like Snoring Wednesday!

Today I am going to just rest rest rest! Had to up my panic disorder meds just a teeny bit for a couple days because I am so worried about this new doctor. (it's normal for this to happen) GRR I hate upping meds I like to lower them! So therefore I have super medicine induced fatigue! I also am going to pack so we can go to my doctor appointment...my appointment is Thursday morning so we will go down tonight. So therefore I won't have internet access so I won't be posting anything...PLUS I AM TAKING MY COMPUTER TO GET THE VIRUSES WIPED OFF. THIS USUALLY TAKES 2 DAYS ... So I will blog as soon as I get the chance to and catch you up on my weekend/ how the new doctor is... and what will be going on... Hope you all have a wonderful rest of the week!! Wish me luck for tomorrow! I am super nervous... & I mean SUPER...The lord shall provide! prayers would be greatly appreciated :) thanks!

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Happy Tuesday

Happy Tuesday all! Guess what?! we have some possible rain clouds in our sky today:) WE NEED some moisture in AZ...Rain, Rain, please Rain! I don't even think rain is in the forecast until weekend  lol but I can hope! (the only bad thing about rain is my joints hurt  more...and I really love rain)Wish I could stay in bed all day because I am super worn out today!! but doctors must be seen, I don't think they could carry on with life if I didn't come to see them (wink wink) only 2 more days until I see the new rheumatologist...hopefully he can help this chick! Good luck to you and your battles...may you win more then you loose!
This is me yesterday( I got to take off my jacket and put my hair up!) soaking up the sunshine through the window because the sun kills my skin and makes me hurt...even through the window! I was in it for just a few minutes outside and my face still stings.. & I mean literally a few minutes like 2 or 3...Thankful for our big porch to keep this girl shaded! Now if it could just be warmer in the mornings so I can eat breakfast outside..one of my favs about summertime! Because eating outside is just way funner and cooler haha I am on Imuran right now for whatever is wrong with me it helps but I noticed It is changing the way things taste and my likes and dislikes are changing I mean I just ate a tostado for breakfast! Weird!

Monday, February 24, 2014

Beautiful Windy SunShine!

Had to share my beautiful windy sunshine with you!
 
 

New Start...New Week! Monday Madness

New start... New week...feeling better today! knock on wood!!! going to dentist...Rise and Shine! Happy Monday all!...tired! p.s. feeling human today my hip hurts a little and I'm tired, tummy is all better, headache is so far better...we can deal with that :) God is watching over this little lady!
 
 
My dog keeps licking my hnad as I try to type this, making it difficult! Must be pay back for yesterday I may or may not have put this bow in his hair...he he! and then take an awfully silly picture of him... let's just say this is not his best side, but hilarious!(his teeth  do not always show or stick out he was yawning) He is just cute!

BOOTS, BOOT, BOOTS, & BOOTS,
I love love love these little babies! they are soo cute! My most fav is the blue zipper! I have to add I got them in the childrens section (they are a size 3)...yes, I know I am 21 years old in a size 3...I bought them at Target about 2 years ago! I know I paid under ten dollars for them! Shopping out of season helps you save those nickels and dimes!






 

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Sick of being Sick!

Tonight I have had It I am officially sick of being sick! I am not going to lie my mood isn't at it's best...but that's part of being sick bad nights where you can't sleep a wink, feel awful, and then you get grouchy. Tonight I feel grouchy at anything and everything! Sorry world ;) yea I am throwing myself a pity party. I just want to be fixed and the reality of all these years adding up...I think when I let myself truly think about them ...it gives me a mini reality check that next year I probably won't magically get better...I always do that... I think to myself next year...even though next year has never came for me...maybe that's my denial...but I have to have hope for a better life and a better tomorrow I can be healed even if it seems impossible right?  How am I suppose to live life this way it seems nearly impossible...How will I ever meet the needs of life? I don't have an answer for that except that god sent me here...for a reason...my being sickly is for a reason..my frustrations...for a reason...they make me a better me somehow! Some of my old problems are diminishing...maybe I should just hold on to that to get me through the night...I probably will always be sick but my old impossibles have turned into miracles (though I am not fully healed) ...if impossibles can be turned into miracles I guess I must keep fighting and remember the good in spite of the bad times. I have nights like this but the tomorrows are always better and much happier!
 
From me to you...IT'S OKAY TO HAVE A BAD DAY! EVERBODY DOES!

Friday, February 21, 2014

It's Friday! I have a case of the doctor nerves

In just 6 days I will be seeing a new rheumatologist, that I've been waiting 4 MONTHS to get into see! Have seen a billion doctors (including Rheumatologists) I haven't had luck with diagnosis and now my other doctors are questioning my Sjogren's Syndrome diagnosis 2 yrs. ago... I question it myself...My biggest problem right now, I can't seem to get off the Google and stop researching lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis (both run in my family) and since 2 yrs. ago I tested positive for both SS A&B antibodies...  however haven't tested positive since...It might be one of those diseases not Sjogren's since I am developing new symptoms all the time... Started taking 150mg of Imuran around Christmas time and 8 weeks after started feeling like a whole new girl! (as you have seen in my blog I was feeling good) bam! the other day It flopped on me and I feel like the old me...still not as bad so Imuran is doing something. Autoimmune diseases are SO complicated to diagnose! I was told recently that I test for nothing most the time and when I do test ANA positive it goes back to negative and well basically I'm hard to test for anything through lab work... This being said I may be diagnosed on symptoms and other factors than blood work... So as this complication continues my nervous level rises. This happens every time I see a new doctor. A lot and I mean A ton of doctors have treated me poorly and some have been great! (that's normal when you have complicated autoimmune diseases, you don't always get believed) So I am nervous I will just be written off or ignored...also nervous of what will be found or if they won't be able to do anything for me... Have lots of mixed emotions. I do have a for sure skin biopsy diagnosis of Lichen Planus ( an autoimmune  connective tissue disease that attacks the skin cells where they are being created, also can get it on mucous membranes, finger/toe nails and personally I feel you can get it anywhere...some have gotten it in their esophagus even!) I have a 2nd cousin who also has this disease.  When I got the biopsy it came back lichen Planus and possible lupus but doctor didn't think I had lupus because back then I didn't have the symptoms and I didn't test for it. Also I have had several docs tell me that they are 99% sure I have Hashimotos Thyroiditis.(autoimmune disease that causes inflammation and basically over time kills your thyroid gland) I am Hypothyroid, and I have a resting heart rate of around 130 average... That's very high! 2 Cardiologists have been totally stumped over this one! So I have a bunch of symptoms and a bunch of opinions and No answers!!! frustrations at high lol Patience is a virtue! I have to remind myself of this constantly. The doctor nerves will always be with me I think especially with a new doctor...Sometimes I feel like the nervousness is drowning me! Oh wait that's anxiety haha it will be okay the lord is with me...it is his plan for me whatever the outcome!

Thursday, February 20, 2014

greatest pain? or greatest strength??


the fight like a girl club is an amazing! it was the first form of support I found on the internet! I love how it lets people tell their own stories... It was were I felt un-alone in this health battle for the first time! They also fundraise for any disease/cancer you'd like! They are such  a great form of support for all! check them out http://www.fightlikeagirlclub.com/

They posted this picture to facebook today...I very much enjoy this as I am hurting a great deal today!

Couldn't resist


okay after I just blogged about not showering...I just had to go take one... i'm tired now but feel better just for being clean:) Plus my hair is growing so that makes me super duper happy!! not going to write much... fingers hurt and are stiff. This girl is not a hobo any longer.
Still got my smile!

This is what my feet do every time I shower they are purple like scary purple then they turn bright red and swell... I think it's Raynaud's phenomenon but several docs say yes and several say no.

Pain & Sick...


I don't have anything fun to post today. Though I wish I did! I am still in pain...today worse then the last few days.... These are the days I pray and wish for an official diagnosis. The days I can't function. The days I can't get out of bed, The days when I can barely walk. These are the tough days. The hardest days. The loneliest days. The longest days. The days I worry the most. The days full of panic that I will never get my life back to functioning. I haven't even showered in days. gross I know but when you are sick, a shower is a lot of energy and work...I will never take showering for granted again. The littlest things in life most people don't think of everyday...Well those little tiny things are my biggest victories. I do not and will not feel sorry for myself... that's not what this post is about this post is about one day at a time good or bad. unfortunately it is bad today... But there is always a new tomorrow, and hope, I know I can do this after all I have had worse days then today. Plus my survival rate of bad days is 100%... If you are sickly keep going! you can do this fight that battle!

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Joint Inflammation? causing pain? Read this...

HI everyone, my hip has inflammation in it due to well I am not real sure why I get joint inflammation I have autoimmune diseases so probably due to that... however I am still not diagnosed my lab work is crazy and I never test for anything then when I do it goes away by the time we test again... Aren't autoimmune diseases great?? I have been suffering with joint inflammation for a very long time but lately its been in my right hip (SUPER BAD) and in my L-1,L-2 discs in my back.... This morning I decided to use my tens/ifc unit for my hip and let me tell you something it isn't even finished yet and my hip feels soooo much better! What a tens/ifc unit does is mix up the pain signals... This effect lasts for hours after you use it too. It is side effect free and it truly works for me....its a small machine with 4 electrodes and you place the electrodes around the pain and it makes it better in about 15 -20 minutes! MY FAVORITE PART NO PILLS!! So if you are suffering from chronic pain of any kind I suggest this little baby right here... in 7 1/2 years this has been my best pain reliever!! it does not always take the pain fully away but my pain scale is always so much lower afterwards! I think this is  a really cool tool for someone who is living with chronic pain. P.S. you do need a prescription for it and you can't use it all day long its to be used once or twice a day like in the morning and at night kinda deal. I am seeing a new rheumatologist next Friday and the nerves are kicking in already... I just want to know what's wrong with me & I need a doctor to fight the fight with me and not give up on me.. I know doctors are human and don't have super powers but when a doctor tries and tries that doctor is normally the doctor that will figure it out or sends you to someone who can. Fingers Crossed and lots of prayers! I really need a diagnosis a.s.a.p.
 
 

Happy Hump Day!!

Good morning! I am up in the wee hours of this morning because I still  do not feel good... have a lot of inflammation in my body but my right hip is the worst. It's killing me!! Just finished watching Titanic made my heart hurt and I'm not going to lie gave me a fair share of anxiety. haha but It was very good. I could never imagine what those poor people on the titanic (the real one) had to go through. Occupied my mind from my body.

My dad brought me a crunch cone from Dairy Queen because I don't feel well....YUM
 

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Health Update:

  I may not be at my best but I am still good:) 
 
 
 
 
Feeling better this morning than last night... or I mean this afternoon. I woke up around noon oops. Didn't sleep well last night. Will definitely be a day in bed recovering and resting this worn down body. Sorry no cool post today or fun... but I do not feel good and can't seem to think of anything. So there's my update:) did come across this today though with having Endometriosis I do think infertility should be covered by medical insurance I mean after all majority of infertility is caused by a medical condition or problem. Here's a link on a petition and you can read and see what your opinion is...https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/include-infertility-treatmentscare-every-insured-individual-part-their-health-insurance-coverage/Hxr8xd8l

OH I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING COOL TO POST TODAY!!! Hilary Weeks shared this on facebook and I really liked it!! kinda goes with what I blogged last night about not wanting to be me but maybe not being me wouldn't be so great as I think, and could be worse... https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1413155718825306

Monday, February 17, 2014

I don't want to be me, I want to be somebody else for a day...


Do you ever just want to be somebody else for a day? That is how I feel today...I want to be somebody else today. I don't want to be me. I don't want to be sick. I most definitely do not want to worry about what is wrong with my body. I don't want to long for the day I  get a diagnosis to my jumbled up broken body. I don't want to worry about the fact that is has been 7 1/2 years and I still do not know at the end of the day what is the matter with me. I do not want to. I want to be somebody else... But maybe being somebody else for a day wouldn't solve my problems. Maybe that somebody would have more problems then me. Maybe that somebody else would have to work twice, maybe three times harder to have what I already have... maybe being somebody else is not what I want at all. Sure today was hard for me. I might have physical struggles with my body that turn into emotional struggles. Am I the only one in the world sick? No I am not. Am I the only frustrated person in the world today? No I am not. Am I the only person who is worried today? No I am not. Am I the only person searching and hoping for a diagnosis or a cure of a sickly body? No I am not. Am I the only person who is struggling with something in life? No I am not. I guess being somebody else just wouldn't solve my problems... maybe that somebody else would make me more grateful for what I do have in life. I just want to be me. even if that means struggling a day at a time with a body that isn't working the way I want. We do not get everything we want in life... even if we were somebody else for a day...I think we would find our problems to be smaller than we realized. Maybe that person who seems to have the "perfect" life, would not. WE all have our own trials. For now mine is being sick. I will have to pray extra hard tonight for comfort and healing. I have been very lucky to have felt so well the past few weeks. I pray and hope it doesn't end... today was just a bad day and I always have a new tomorrow no matter what. I can not change my body but I can choose to keep going, keep fighting, and keep hoping for health again one day. God's plan for me is special, it must be for I keep going through struggles I never thought possible... on the bright side I am stronger than I ever imagined I would be and I am definitely braver. More than that I am a better me today than I was 7 1/2 years ago. Maybe being me and not somebody else is the biggest blessing of all...

Saturday, February 15, 2014

My favorite quote out of Doctorine and Covenants right now

My newest most favorite quote from Doctrine and Covenants right now... I came across it a few days ago and this hangs on my wall now in place of my old favorite quote from Job. These little pieces of paper hanging around my room make my heart have this feeling I can't quite explain but it's a good strong peaceful feeling that empowers my testimonies.

D&C 84:81-98

      

I Did Not Know Healing Could Hurt This Bad.

My body is going through a lot of changes right now. For the very first time in YEARS I have felt pretty good through out everyday in two weeks! WOW a BLESSING for sure! However I didn't know how totally sore my body would feel after laying around in bed for a good 2 years. It makes since but I had no clue that when I started to feel better/good that I'd have  a totally new struggle with my body... My body is very weak I am finding it doesn't take much to wear it out and make my muscles Every so sore! (doctors & therapists say this soreness will last a long time) But with each sore muscle and pain I know it's like crossing the finish line, a victory, one at a time. The more normalcy I get in my life the more excited I get. I am jumping hurdles in the land of recovery right now. My body doesn't like it too much though it wants to fight it. When I say normalcy I mean literally just not laying in bed I spend most my time at home now but can go out for little bits at a time. I walked down the street and back by my house and whoa! did it hurt. I will keep pushing myself! I will recover and rehabilitate. Another thing that comes with feeling more like a human and not someone who just lays in bed and feels like she is so sick she must be dying a slow painful death...the emotional state... sometimes I am like a little kid, "look mom! look what I just did." really it's not big deal like the other day I stood on one leg by itself. I was proud of that little accomplishment for I used to not be able to stand sturdy on both legs.  This blog in itself has been HUGE for me those little things I post like Potpourri...those are things I would never of had the energy to do...doing my hair in a new hair due...never would of even thought about it...most days I did not even get ready for the day let alone think or find a new hair style. I feel so full of life in so many new ways. It's like I get to re explore the world again and things people take for granted with out knowing so. Like wearing jeans... I couldn't wear a simple pair of jeans with out being in massive pain...This week I wore jeans 4 days in a row! goodbye sweat pants and leggings, hello jeans! I've missed you my dear friend. On top of all that I feel all these rushes of emotions mixed good and bad. I feel like I don't know how to do things anymore and I don't know, just a lot of work ahead of me. But my father in heaven is with me guiding me everyday working with me and healing me. Blessings are happening. Now my days have been good....nights not so much I get the worst headaches all night from around 5 until I fall asleep. Along with all over aches, pains, & inflammation. This has been a battle but like I said blessings are happening and I will take my improvements whenever and wherever they come! Thank you heavenly father for my many blessings-

Friday, February 14, 2014

Made this video for my sister & brother in law!! Happy Valentines day

LOVE
This is something I have never done before.. pretty proud of myself and I had an opportunity to show my siblings how much I love them.
 
video

Happy Valentines Day!

I hope you all have a very happy Valentines Day!!xoxo
 
 
 
Wearing a black bracelet for Talia Joy. If you don't know who she is she was a vlogger. She did very well with it and she raised a lot of awareness about childhood cancer...She was a special soul and heavenly father had a beautiful plan for her on this earth. This summer he took her from this world into heaven at 13 years old.  I'm sure she is smiling down on her friends and family. today (valentines day) is her cancer diagnosis anniversary. She fought for 5 or 6 years. sorry I am unsure about that fact...but 2 years ago she decided to wear black on valentines day for cancer awareness...what a sweet girl. an inspiration to the world! #TaliasLegacy
 
 
Wrecker says happy valentines day!! I heart you!! & am being held against my own will... lol

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Valentines gifts... simply love.

I got all this stuff super cheap for my family at the dollar tree...( a true dollar store). Yup I did it cheap this year but when you have no job or income...cheap is how you shop:) I am normally anti-Valentines day but this year I feel different. I realize my love for my family so much more now than before. I think it comes with maturity and growing up. I have always loved my family... I guess you could just say I appreciate their love more now. Anyways nothing too special just a simple gift but I have a secret up my sleeve for my siblings. READY?! I made them a special video with pictures of me and my sister and then when we became the 3 siblings when they got married. (it made my mom cry...every single time I played it while editing lol) I am truly blessed with such good siblings <3 The best part is I can finally give them a gift from me, not one my parents paid for...feels so good! here are the glasses I made! Their glass mugs filled with different heart shaped chocolates, hot cocoa mix, a big sucker, caramels, and I put some cute finger nail files in my sisters and moms. The one on the right with the heart shaped glasses...that's my sisters I have a pair too. I feel that should make some punch or something for them but I have inflammation in my back mainly and I can feel it all over today. Plus, I am ONE TIRED GIRL. I desperately need to sleep at night. So they get a glass and a slide show! I am super excited to give them their slide show they will be oh so surprised!! maybe I'll post it on here if they let me.
                                               


FREE bracelet ...before8:30 a.m. ! ... It's a good day ay ay ay ay ay!

Guess what song is playing in my head this morning??? "it's a good day" by Hilary weeks.Went to the store this morning bright and early since I stayed up all night. I had to take my mom to work so I could have the car for my dentist appointment this evening (at her work) lol. We will hopefully be fixing okay I have no clue what it is called.... My front teeth... the gums one side is higher than the other so we are fixing it. It drives me nuts because I think it makes my teeth look crooked and they are not! & I think It looks weird too. I will post before and afters later... Anyways good start to a good day.. I got this little bracelet for free! Yes, I was shocked to when the guy at Kmart said you owe nothing ... thanks to my Kmart rewards. So I got 25 dvd discs (because I made my sister & brother in law a slide show of us all from when me and my sister Chelsey were little to now and her husband in between), a bracelet, & then I went to Arbys and got a lot of biscuits and gravy because I did not realize how big they were! Oh and an orange juice:) Ready?! all for just $10. Now I think I did pretty good! Hope you are having a good day too! "It's a good day, it's a good day ay ay ay ay ay ay to have a good good day!"

I can not sleep at night!

I can not sleep at night anymore! I have layed in bed for hours now tossing, & turning. I think I have had so many bad nights that my brain is trained to be awake! Wishing this would get better...I hate sleeping until noon because I can't sleep when I should be asleep! Frustrations setting in...Reality of being chronically ill.

9:30 p.m. Medication induced
stomach ache/headache

10:30 p.m. Went to bed lights/
computers out. toss & turn
repeat.

It is now1:15 a.m.
1:25 a.m.                                                               Mr. Sand Man I need you!!
hands have stiffened up making it
hard to type. They are swollen and red
Joints and bones hurt to move. Now my
feet are swollen and red too. painful.

                                While I typed this... this quote came up on my facebook... just the reminder I needed. A coincidence? I think not. My heavenly father always sends me signs on nights like tonight that things will be okay and trials are to improve us. He is with me always<3

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Okay. I think I am going to be okay :)

Last night I was extremely worried because I felt awful for the first time in abut 2 weeks. That's a record for me I have not felt that good in years. So when my head ache came back and my stomach hurt...and then everything started hurting. I was one worried girl. So I prayed because if I do not get better it's in gods hands and he has a plan for me. I also know if I keep my faith in the lord I can endure anything and I also know god can and will heal me. But it's going to be in his time not mine. I just have to be patient. I have taken a ton of vitamins today and I am getting lots of rest. I feel a lot better and think I just have a little bug or something like that...Phew! I am on an immune suppressant which makes my immune system weak and I went to my primary care doctor yesterday.. you know the place with all the sick germs! I know germs are everywhere but in a primary care office you are super exposed to the flu and everything else contagious! That being said I wore my mask in the  and last night I came down with something, so maybe I caught it there or anywhere else I've been.



Wearing this mask people look at me like A. I am a nuts or something. B. I can see in their eyes they are thinking what awful thing does she have. One time a receptionist laughed at me...My mom was with me and she got so mad. I was mad too just too tired to do anything. If someone looks different DO NOT laugh at them. DO NOT stare. Treat them how you would like to be treated. (now children are children and do not  know these things so that doesn't pertain to them. They are just being curious kids.) I am so blessed I don't have to deal with something like that all the time. But on the flip side looking perfectly fine even when sick...people and doctors tend to not believe you...(even without makeup and crazy undone hair) Autoimmunes are like the unseen diseases we don't look awfully sick, & when we do we are stuck in bed at home and no one sees us. I normally smile at people. But when you have a mask on no one can see it lol I snapped a picture for you guys! "It's not about your scars, it's all about your heart"- Mindy Gledhill. love that Song!

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

I Hoped It Would Last Longer...

Well I have felt pretty good the past two weeks & have been so happy, blessed, relieved. Tonight I feel pretty darn bad... My head and stomach hurt so it's not necessarily the same old thing. Everything hurts! I went to the doctors today maybe I picked up a bug...Hopefully! It will pass & if not I can hold the faith to endure all hardships. My father in heaven has a plan for me bigger than I know and It IS in his hands.

HAIR.... What an amazing thing to be able to do

today I am in the middle of growing out my hair! I have come across some cute ideas on pinterest and tried one out today....I feel like a real person putting makeup on and doing my hair! what! These things are so exciting when you didn't have the energy to do them before. When It took every single ounce out of me to just talk... Thank you heavenly father for my blessing the past two weeks. Though I still am not cured or a 100% and have a long way to go. I feel I just crossed a hurdle of life and I pray it stays and I do not have to go down again. Being sick is a battlefield you're constantly fighting to get help. You are your own army. Every Single Day! fighting for what people do everyday without thinking.& You're wishing and longing you could do something that most people are complaining about day to day. Some people have told me it must be nice to stay home all day long. UH NO! it has been so awful and I am so thankful for my dog so I don't get so lonely. Honestly since I have been sick all I've wanted to do was go to work everyday. Everyday my parents left it was just me in an empty house until they returned. Those days dragged out and I still have them and would still do anything to have the strength and health to do such things. You don't know what you have until it's gone. Instead of focusing on what I don't have right now due to my debilitating health....I want to just be thankful for the opportunity to do my hair and my makeup today and I will also be able to go to a doctor appointment later. ON MY OWN! These things a year ago were nearly and sometimes impossible. So today I am thankful for the little things <3


These two pictures are me today. My new hairstyle. I can't explain to you how I haven't even cared what I looked like because I was so sick it just stops mattering so much. & today I actually cared!
But with that being said beauty is on the inside. Never does true beauty come from the outside!
I am so thankful for this blessing. Yes, I count today feeling the way I do as a beautiful blessing! No I don't feel so great and unsick I just feel better:) I will take it!! <3




                                         NOW:           
 


                                                   Long Hair:                                                          
 These pictures are some of my senior pictures when my hair was long. I miss it <3 I see a more thriving person here these were literally my last days before I totally fell on my face into the land of extreme sickness. I cherish them in my heart <3

      Short Hair:

 P.S. I had to cut my hair all off after long surgery and medications It all started falling out and I had to say goodbye to those long locks. This photo was taken about a year and a half ago. My short hair which I liked at the time and now I just see the sick person in these photos. I know I am the only one who can look at them this was for I remember what a frustrating time I was having just to get a picture taken. That's another reason for long hair I was doing better then so it makes me feel like the old me the B.S. (before sick) even though I was pretty sick then too? I don't even know if that makes full sense. but it's how I feel!

My Twist on Orange Potpourri

good morning! today I can curled up on the couch with my blanket, enjoying the smell of my potpourri on the stove! I will warn you it is more of an autumn smell. It is amazing, smells very heavenly! Not to strong not overwhelming at all! My Most favorite part about it is there isn't any chemical smells!! First you are going to need some orange peels. that's right need a use for all your wasted orange peels this year? throw them in a pot & cook up some potpourri!

 I add the normal orange peels (as many as you want as far as I am concerned) I used 2 oranges worth. Then I put a whole tsp. of cinnamon in my pot (you can use sticks if you prefer) Then instead of nutmeg this girl added some pumpkin spice (1/2 tsp.) and a dash of vanilla. It smells simply amazing! Ha Ha It smells so good my dog keeps going to the table looking for people food. See your dog will even appreciate it!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Krispy Kreme...

Another highlight from the weekend! Had an hour to kill before physical therapy.... So what do we do? go to Krispy Kreme's of course! I LOVE me some good doughnuts :)


I love to see the temple,

This weekend had it's ups and downs but overall  was pretty good! I had the opportunity to go through the BEAUTIFUL Gilbert, AZ LDS temple this weekend. They are holding tours to anyone who wants to go through the rest of this week, before the temple is dedicated. I think they have been doing it for at least the last month or so. Once temples are dedicated they are used for sacred work. Even members of the LDS church have to be in good standings and hold a temple recommend to enter. I encourage everyone to go if you can! Something I did not think about before going was having to do a lot of walking. (not complaining about walking, just didn't bump in my head). My body is very weak right now I have basically spent the last 2 years in bed. I am gaining strength but still have a long ways to go. They do have elevators in the temple but part of me was stubborn and wanted to climb those beautiful stairs like the old me would have done... I did I climbed every single stair.(knowingly with my heavenly father's help) The spirit was high in the temple that was something I can say I was sure was happening there. Towards the end I was really struggling with the stairs and said a tiny prayer for help to get through the rest of the stairs. One second later my mom came and grabbed my arm and helped me down the last couple flights of stairs. I knew my father in heaven heard that seemingly tiny prayer and he sent my mother to help me. What a beautiful experience it truly was. The temple was so gorgeous!
 I wish I had a better picture to post because the SUNSHINE was so BRIGHT outside at about 12:30 p.m. we all had squinty eye pictures. We were very happy for the opportunity to be there with part of our family <3

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Ladies Do you have chronic pain? Ladies do you suffer from endometriosis?? you may be interested in this little gadget! Or these amazing specialists!

I do NOT normally post on weekends but feel this is me staying true to my one of those days in my title "one day at a time".Tonight I look rugged sorry long day! & I just started to hurt a little and thought if only everyone knew about these tools I have (and my specialists are my tools as well)
Here is my tool box from me to you!

I suffer from chronic pain due to many diseases but suffer chronic pelvic and abdomen/lower back pain due to pelvic floor tension myalgia & Endometriosis. Honestly in my personal experience PELVIS PAIN IS THE WORST & HARDEST TO TREAT. Again MY opinion. So here's the deal no medication pain pills  ect. help my pain and I have suffered for around 7 and a half years with this pain... and if you know any woman with endometriosis pain pills are normally a flop and don't do much. Leaving us in agony some for a few days some for up to 2 weeks.(time during or around the menstrual cycle) I usually hurt 2 weeks when I am in need of surgery to remove my endometriosis. That is not my case right now. Now I am in treatment for pelvic floor tension myalgia and getting better all the time. A very slow process for me that will take years. I also have endometriosis. My only option is surgery right now due to some other medical conditions anyways this little gadget right  here makes my pain better always and sometimes demolishes my pain away. that's right NO PILLS. and it's side effect free... well you may get skin irritation from the electrodes but come on that's a small price to pay...



This is my ifc/tens unit it send electrical stimulation and blocks the pain signals. basically mixes them up and makes your pain go bye bye! I had to get a prescription for it from my specialist and my physical therapist, you can find her here and the whole team at dynamic is simply Awsomehttp://www.dynamicrehabaz.com/pamela-kays-pt-dpt-2/ (yes you can have physical therapy for your pelvis/woman issues) suggested it for me for home use. so you may have to talk to your doc! but it has helped me so much! I believe every woman with endometriosis needs one! (as well as a heating pad of course!) I have an amazing doctor at https://hospitals.dignityhealth.org/stjosephs/Pages/services/women/Pelvic-Pain-and-Gynecologic-Surgery.aspx. Her name is Dr. Desai. She diagnosed and helped my find treatment for pelvic floor tension myalgia as well as did my surgery for endometriosis. She is simply amazing as well as Dr. Michael Hibner! They are so much more than regular gynecologists they specialize in the pelvis. Highly suggest them!!! Oh and ladies if you suffer from feminine pain here's a link to another specialist that is great too!http://www.azvulvaclinic.com/ These doctors all correlate together that's how I have learned about all of them... I hope this helps someone because these are embarrassing topics! if you are out there hurting  with these problems just know I am sending you a huge hug! & I hope you get well soon!!!

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Tommorrows blog early... one week until valentine's day

I had to post tomorrow's post today because I have to go out of town to seek more medical treatment. This trip physical therapy!

I do not normally get into valentines day very much. This year however I am! Feeling the love I guess. Looking over the years, this year I really have realized how much my family has done for me in hard times & how much love they give& continue to give to me. My being ill has been hard on everyone not just me. We may not have everything we want & we definitely are not rich but we have the most important thing...Our Love for each other & our love for god and his son Jesus Christ. I take it back those 2 things make us rich. I am so truly blessed with my family. I love them to pieces <3 I bought my family a special valentines for each of them! ( I will post those later) and I found this super cute heart wreath. Love this wreath I placed it on top of our entertainment center to remind us all we love each other and to help celebrate valentines day of course! Spread the love!

Remember when...

Whoa did I have a hard time sleeping at night. since I have been sick I pretty much either sleep way too much or I can't sleep. So a slow start this morning. This picture is of me back in high school in the good ole cheer days. Yes I was varsity cheer captain my senior year. despite my body fighting me every second of the day. This being said my senior year of high school was not as glamorous as pictures may look. for instance in this picture I did not know it but I had the following: Sjogren's syndrome, Lichen Planus, pelvic floor tension myalgia, and panic disorder. Only the good lord knows how I got through cheer. He had to help me have that deep determination not to quit because believe me did I have several days where it was just too much. I did it though and am so glad I did! No matter how hard it was on me. To cheer I literally had to go to school and barley get through that...go to practice and kill myself for that... go straight home and go to bed. Then do my homework in classes. Then wake up do it again. I didn't even do anything on the weekends but stay home and sleep life was a night mare to me and I still don't know how I did these things, which such a broken body! My doctors are even stumped haha. Now today there is no way I could do any such thing...that makes me even more grateful I did it while I still could. Plus I got to meet Tony G, if you don't know who that is he is a famous choreographer. He did all the choreography for the bring it on movies... I met him when my team got invited to preform at the holiday bowl... here are a few cheer pictures.


                         Below: the team and holiday bowl 2010 half time show dance choreographers.
                                               Below: the team and Tony G.

Good times!

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

& it snowed!

  If you look at my hair and scarf you can see snowflakes :) It didn't last long but it did snow! A beautiful gift from god above <3

cozy day super simple yummy crock pot meal

So far I feel pretty decent today (a rare occasion) so I am  going to do something I usually don't; Is it a cold winter day where you live? This dinner will warm you right up (no it isn't spicy) just a super home cooked meal.I am going to eat this super easy, yummy, cozy meal tonight. The best part I made it this morning so dinner tonight will be a breeze to prepare. Oh wait it was a breeze to prepare this morning! I'm sure a lot of you have seen this meal before but if you haven't give it a try it is super good:)

First you need to get you crock pot out!


                                               Step 2: get out  2 cans of this yummy soup.

                                         step 3: cook up a package of pork chops yummy!
                                               (you can substitute chicken if wanted)
                                      I seasoned with a little bit of garlic powder and ground sage.
After you cook up your pork chops put a layer of the cream of mushroom soup on the bottom of your crock pot, Then add your pork chops. Then add the 2nd can of soup and about a half can of water. Then set crock pot to LOW & when dinnertime comes it will be waiting for you! I cook up some rice and a can of green beans for my sides. Yummy!
 
P.S. if you need to clean up...have you used or seen this scent of dawn?? It smells amazing!