Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Update on me and how i am handling my struggle

I just wanted to post about how I am doing with life with POSTURAL ORTHOSTATIC TACHYCARIDA SYNDROME/ DYSAUTONOMIA & MASS CELL ACTIVATION(1/3 OF POTS PATIENTS GET MASS CELL ACTIVATION)First I'd like to say I can barely feel my hands and fingers from the wrists down (both hands) which is making typing very difficult... I am having a very hard time and I feel almost obsessive of all my symptoms and I know they are just symptoms and I am safe.... however knowing what is truly going on sends me into panic and worry. You would think that I would feel safe and less worried but for some reason my brain just can let it go. It is a vicious cycle of worry...I pray for help with this and for comfort... especially at night when it is the worst.( I do not know what it is about night but everything hurts worse then) I am taking my new medications for mass cell and I knew it wouldn't be an overnight fix and I have a long road ahead but I just feel so frustrated with it all the diet "how much salt did I eat", "how much water did I drink", "urgh I still didn't make goal!" the constant medications... I just worry too that I am not better and I am trying so hard to put it in the lord's hand for he knows what is best for me... but I still struggle with drowning in constant worry... I am trying and for now that is all I can do. Sometimes we have to stumble and fall in life and I think we learn the most when we are down... hoping I learn and awaiting happy moments for they are what keeps me going like the olive leaf and Noah.