Thursday, March 27, 2014

Reality of a living trauma

this is what my night looks like ...
tens unit(a pain signal mixer upper device) , and my heating pad.... this is my reality of having and living through a technical trauma case to my pelvis. The pain lingers and is the pain I hate out of any bodily pain...My pelvis hurts worse than any other part on my body regularly and I think pelvic pain is the hardest to treat at least on the list of the top hardest to treat! but when I spend times like this in pain and the reality hits I get frustrated and my heart starts to hurt as that reality sets in... tonight I had that moment set in deep and I started to cry... then I looked over and saw my physical therapy supplies (my foam roller and yoga mat and band) that just happened to be in my room due to the living room construction where they normally stay. then I had a peaceful feeling I know was my heavenly father reminding me that it is okay and will be okay... I have come a long ways but have such a long ways to go and I know my father in heaven is understanding of how I feel when I feel hopless and like my life has been thrown in the dirt. I can't go to work or school not even part time my pelvis just doesn't hold up nor my health in general... but I have had other blessings from this trial I would NEVER return and as weak as I feel, I know I am and can be strong. Everything will be okay maybe not how I planned but okay. My redeemer lives and he is with me through my best and worst of times. We can all choose to keep going no matter how rough or impossible things might seem in  any situation. you can choose to turn to god and he will be there with opened loving arms, no matter what. I know I am blessed I know this is a blessing!